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Grief & Loss Message Board


Grief & Loss Board Index


i'm so sorry about the loss of your parents. losing is hard, and the only thing we can do is move on, to live. i lost my father 13 years ago to cancer. the hardest thing for me was that the last conversation i had with him ended in an argument and he hung up on me. he lived 1500 miles away from me and was in the early stages of his disease, unbeknownst to anyone, as it was pancreatic cancer.

2 years later i was called by his wife to come quickly because he didn't have long. i was confused because i,along with my siblings, didn't even know he was sick. long and painful story short, 12 hours after i got there, he died. the only thing i could do was tell him on his deathbed that i was sorry for everything that had gone wrong in the years past. he was not responsive besides a few body twitches and maybe a moan or two.

for almost 10 years i've carried that pain with me, the unanswered questions, the could haves, the whole thing, replaying in my head, if i had only done this or that. it took me that long to forgive him and myself for not knowing better in the past the right things to have done, or to have been said.

now, my father comes to me in my dreams, periodically. he usually doesn't say anything, but they are good dreams. one of my most memorable dreams was when he and i were knocking down walls to rebuild my childhood home. it was incredible. so now i feel a lot better. and how this relates to your situation, i have no idea, other than it involves the death of a parent. pain, resentment, fear and all other bad feelings manifest and show up in your health. be good to yourself, moving on is hard, i know, it took 10 years for me to move on. be easy and have patience. you had a good relationship with your parents (evidenced in your post), be thankful for that.

good luck:)





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