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Grief & Loss Message Board

Grief & Loss Board Index

hi kathryn havent talked to you in a while doing o.k.i guess still having my moments of crying but daddy is starting to have his moments to when we are at the table having a small supper last night and tonight he had a moment but i was having one to. i was starting to wash clothes tonight and he called and ask me what i was going to fix us for supper. i said i dont know so he ask me to come over and find somthing so i fixed some chicken and put some cream of chicken over it and put it in the oven and let it bake. and i made [opened a can of peas] and made some biskits. and he was happt with that. now he hasnt wanted me to do anything for him but this morning we went to brookshires and picked up a few things for christmas day. my brother and his wife / my son [rusty ]and heather [his wife] and me and daddy will have lunch together .daddy sold moms car;sunday so that was hard. so he is making progress. its just going to be hard at christmas. i went to moms grave sunday as i usually do weather permiting and there were foot prints on moms grave which i didnt like but i fixed the dirt back. i just sat at the foot of her and had some quite time i at on the side walk. i just mis her so much. i go to see dr.mike tommorrow and i am having an off balance problem with tripping over my feet a lot. and the inside of my ears hurt so i have to have that sen about. dady started that yelling at me again last night and i told him he has to stop i have ask him before. he said he wasnt yelling i told him he was then we had a moment of silence and started talking about somthing else. this whole situation is just wrong. i cant get use to it. i just cry out of no where and my dad is hurting to. i never releized how hard it would be to lose a parent .or some one close.i have lost 24 pounds. since last june but a lot of it has come off since i was sick and all of this long does it take when you can have a moment that you are not missing some one that is so close?well i am rambling again. thanks for listening who ever reads this. susan kay
hi kathryni was doing fine i had a good vist at the doctors today i have hit the 25 pounds lost mark dr. mike was happy with that i was having some off balance problem and he told me to get some meclezine for it daddy had to go to brookshires and he got some for me. well he had made a display with moms pic. and some baby angles in front of it and 2 angles on either side of it. i was over there waiting for a phone call for daddy while he went to brookshires and i saw the counter and started crying he came home and i told him i was going to my house i just coulnt look at it right he said he was sorry i told him thats o.k. i will get use to it. see mom took care of the babies and children at our church. so to see that was just very hard. i usually go to the grave on sundays after work before church and i have done really good tilli saw that .its pretty it was just hard to se it. and christmas i am buying 3 gift cards and weall [my son rusty and wife heather / and my brother randy and wife elizibeth nickname punkin] and me and daddy. eat together. and that will be it. im trying to be strong i know there is nothingi can do about it but some time i just cant help it no one wants to talk about it. so i keep my feelings inside as much as possible. my heart is doing good i told him remember i was of yesterday and today thats why its so calm he told me just to stay on my meds for it. so i ll be o.k.i have to be. write back susan kay

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