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Grief & Loss Message Board

Grief & Loss Board Index

hi i know this is going to sound bad. but how lucky yall were to have those moments with your mothers because yall new that your mothers were going to heaven soon. mine wasnt supposed to die. all she went in for was a blood trans. ans come home. and here i am 2 floors down from her and couldnt even go see her because i was contages. dr. mike put her in for low iron give her a trans. and send her home the next day. in on mon. out on tues. thats it thats all. i go in on wens. broncitus from camping trip. i called her to tell her were i was and told her i would call her the next morning. i never got to talk to her again.she had that arithmea that wasnt supposed to happen had no clue. on tues. gives her another dose of blood and on thursday at about 9'30a.m. all i could do is hear the code blues go off and holler at the nurses station that that was my moms room. christmas this year skipping it. all together. daddy and i are just skipping it. christmas music forget it. i have been turning it down or off. i never got to talk to her again. i saw her on fri. night when i got home and i had bought her a little light up cabin to add to her chrismas stuff. i got daddy a fishing cabin he has it in his room. i broght to my house what i got for her. i saw her for a split min. when they were leaving for the hospital on that mon. morning. only because i happen to walk over to their house. right before they left. and if this sounds bad i am very very sorry. but yall got to say good by mine wasnt even suppose to die. and on top of that i never got to say good by. i couldnt even go see her while we /both were in the hospital . 2 floors apart. i hurt to much to even think christmas. i dont cry as much but i hurt. and i miss my mom. and again if this sounds bad i am so very sorry, susan kay carter
I know how all of you feel that have lost your mothers.

December 26 will be three years since I lost my mother. Eight months after losing her I lost my father on September 7, 2004. My mom was 63, my dad was 66. Far too young in my opinion. I still was not over the shock of losing my mom and I was having to deal with my father and his metastatic colon cancer. I could not believe it. To top it all off, on September 4 of this year I lost my grandmother (my dad's mom). She was 89 1/2 and lived on her own. She was absolutely lost since losing my dad. Our family was really surprised she lasted as long as she did after losing my dad. She had two sons, so my uncle is the oldest one of the family.

Needless to say Christmas since 2003 has not been the same for me. I just can't get myself worked up about the holidays like I used to. I have found that I have to push myself to get the decorations up and the shopping done and just getting through the season for me is a miracle. I do it for my family and put on a happy face. However inside I am just miserable. My family also understand and they know that if I need time to just go and cry or curl up and sleep they allow me to do that. I don't have any brother's or sister's, but I do have a cousin who is just like a sister to me and she and I either talk or email each other. All in all, I am thankful for what I have. I still wish however that I could change things and get everyone back. Even if for just one more day. You will always think if I had placed just one more call or gone for one more visit. You can't beat yourself up like that. It doesn't do any good anyway.

Our loved ones know how much we love them and wish they were back with us. I am thankful that neither my mom or my dad are in pain anymore. They both suffered horribly with cancer at the end. My grandmother, God rest her soul, went the way she wanted to go. She always said she wanted to go quick. She did. She basically took one breath and was gone the next. We found her on the bathroom floor. Our funeral director told us that her chin was discolored from falling on her chin. That is a physical impossibility. There is absolutely no way the if you are conscious that you could fall on your chin. Your arms and hand immediately at the first feeling that you are falling go out to break your fall. So by the fact that she had fallen on her chin, she was gone by the time she hit the floor. That was echoed by her doctor so we were so thankful that she basically did not know what happened other than she was here one minute and gone the next. I hope that I am that lucky when my time comes.

To my mom, Paula, to my dad, Chris and to my grandmother, Julia, I love you all and miss you so. You are all in my thoughts every day and are never forgotten. :angel: :angel:
cap city/jan i will check with hillcrest and see if they are going to do any thing. that would be nice.i cant stop crying at the moment especcilly since randy is mad with me now jan read on the anemic post and you will see i just feel so alone right now. i cant help it if i live the closest and i cant help it if i have been the one to check in on daddy every day and i cant help it if i am the yongest. and i certintly cant help it if daddys wishes is not to have a house full of people this year. me nor him are just not up to it. but it is up to him as to what he wants to do. they say what ever he wants is fine but then when they find out they get mad its not my fault. i miss my mom this was not suppose to happen. thanks. well its 9'30p.m. i better get to bed yall know walmart cant run with out me. love all of yallthanks. susan kay carter:angel: for my mom MRS. BOBBIE TODD. I LOVE YOU MOM AND I MISS YOU . AND YOU SHOULD STILL BE HERE.

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