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Grief & Loss Message Board

Grief & Loss Board Index

coyotoe this is susan kay your surgery is on my dads 74th birthday. i coulnt find where you had told me already. i will be thinking about you. maybe you will have a surprise to brighton up your rm. to the one that just lost her hubby i am so sorry i just lost my mom sept.28th went in the hospital for a simple blood trans. and was to come home the next day but didnt. i was in also but i had been camping and had broncitus. she went home alright but not to her house she went to her hevenly home instead.i really miss her chritmas will be just another day ,daddy wants nothing special my brother and wife stop by for a few min. and leave to go to her sisters and my son and wife come to the house to vist and go back to there house he has made it very clear he wants no big dinner together no big exchancing of gifts just nothing so it will be a nothing day. so its really depressing im glad tomorrow is the last day i work6a.m. to3 p.m. and will come home and fix us some supper and that will be it. nothing like it used to be. mom would have so much family in the house you coulnt move. those days are over. i just want all of this to be over. susan kay
Thank you for answering. It would be so nice if I had family members nearby, but I don't. This Thanksgiving and Christmas will probably be the worst ones, at least I hope so. I hate to think they could get worse. Maybe next year I will go someplace else for the holidays. My husband was the one who did most of the cooking, and he really loved it. He'd get up early in the morning on Thanksgiving and Christmas and I'd hear him in the kitchen, banging pots and pans and whistling, just as happy as he could be. He loved having people over for big dinners and loved all our family and friends. This year I'm having Christmas Eve dinner at a friend's with her family, and on Christmas day I'm just staying home. I think the holidays are just going to be just like any other day for a good while.

My husband's 90 year old uncle calls and cries on the phone because he lost his dear wife a few years ago, and now he knows we have that awful thing in common. We both end up in tears. I feel so sorry for him, but I never could really relate to exactly how he felt until now. I guess nobody can understand unless they have to go through it themselves.

I'm glad I found this group of people who all have that one thing in common and can offer sympathy and understanding and advice that comes from the heart and from experience.
coyete yes i know who you are hurt my feelings ? didnt even think about it i didnt even take it that way. the associate i told you about found out today for christmas what we are doing and was just in shock she just cryed and cryed and it took her a few min to understand that we were sending her to nashville to see her son /grandbaby/ wife and now that she has talked to her son she is bouncing off the walls it really felt good to do that for some one who so deserved it. so we are all going to take her to the airport on the 3rd. and see her off. are you have surgery in your home town are in dallas? she just couldnt beleive that she has such good friends she tank you just dosnt cover it we told her you just go and have some time with them . jan i have really enjoyed talking to you to i dont know what i would do with out this board. to the lady who just lost her husband i am sorry i have ask jan and kathyrn why and they have tryed to tell me we dont why we just know god knows and one day we get to see them again i have been through the shock and the mad and the depression and now i just miss her but every body miss the one they have lost i was telling one of my co/workers that i didnt understand tottly how she felt when she lost her mom this year to i had ask her if we could say good by and she was really hurting at the time. i told her i was so sorry for saying that because i didnt understand but now i do.her mom was on of our door greeters so it was hard on all of us at the store but i felt like i had to tell her. and that i didnt mean to hurt her but now i under stand the hurt. so in time and thats all that is going to help is time it will get better . this was my first christmas with out mom but we stayed together and eat as a family my dad and my son/wife/brother/and his wife so it wasnt so bad. just keep talking to us on this board and it will slowly get better. take care.susan kay

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