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Grief & Loss Message Board

Grief & Loss Board Index

Recently I lost my eldest brother. My best friend. He was everything to me. I am 20 years old and my brother was 27 when he passed. His name was Jeremey. Our family has never ever been one to be close. I have another brother Zackary but Zack was always consumed in his life so it was always Jeremey and I. We got use to that. Countless times I would go over there and we would sit and talk and just be. When I was 18 I was fortunate enough to have bought a house just about 10 minutes from him. That was the best. I was over all the time seeing my neice and nephew. Those kids were his world. My brother was a stay at home father which he loved. I knew my brother like the back of my hand. Anything he needed I was there, anything I needed he was there. I think sometimes it made his wife jealous. Anyways... Our family was going through a rough time. My neice had been going through alot that was affecting our family. None the less I was talking to him everyday. If it was just to say Hi whatchu up to or to talk more in depth about everything that was going on. At the end of each conversation I would say I love you bubbie. Bubbie was the shortening of brother when I was a child that stuck even still now. I guess I couldnt say brother ANYWAYS.. Im so thankful that I got to say that to him everyday before his death. Jeremey went to sleep on his couch Monday December 4th 2006 and never woke up Tuesday. I called there on Tuesday to tell Jeremey I was thinking about him and to see what he was up to. Well I called and my sister in law answering crying I was like what is going on. She said Amanda just get here!!! I left work cussing my brother out. You have no idea of what I was going to walk into!!! I got to my brothers house and walked in and there was his body. I was so numb. Numb doesnt even describe it. I think I am numb now. I couldnt cry!!! I did everything. I picked out his casket and his gravesite and what sucks is... the suit that he wore to my wedding 3 months before is the suit that we barried him in. Im so angry at him Im upset and Im shaking thinking about it. I miss him everyday and I think about him always. What sucks is right after.. I found out I was pregnant. Then a month later I found out I miscarried. Jeremey always said he would be the one to take care of my first child. He was right. I know that everything happens for a reason and if I dont know what that reason is I have to feel comfort in knowing he isnt hurting anymore!!:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

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