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Grief & Loss Message Board


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Re: Miss My Mom
Nov 6, 2007
Thanks for responding to my letter...sorry it's been a few days...everyday life seems to take over....

I am sorry for the loss of your mom too. No matter when it happens, it is so sad to lose your biggest fan. My mom and I also had a very special relationship. I am the youngest of three kids and the only girl. My one brother, unfortunately, is a homeless alcoholic. My other brother is very caught up in his children's lives with his wife, so they rarely interacted with Mom. Even though they lived less than 30 minutes from her. Very Sad..but due to all our family issues (Dad died when I was 17) my mother and I were the very best of friends. we were on the phone CONSTANTLY. I loved talking to her, she was always positive and encouraging. She was a great listener and never lectured anyone..she always felt everyone deserved another chance.

Mom re-married and although the marriage wasn't great, she stayed with the man, Clem, until she died. Although she wanted nothing more than to come live with me (about and hour north) and my husband and newborn son so she could enjoy our conversations face to face. My husband built an addition on our home for her that she never got to see.

I am so saddened by my loss. I pray that she truly is in a place of pure love and joy, never having to worry about her homeless son, or be concerned about everyone else and not putting herself first.

It is so difficult to visit her husband of 16 years, Clem. First of all, he never liked that Mom and I were as close as we were. He would get mad at her for talking to me so much, or for wanting to come up and spend a night with me. These are things that are hard to get over for me.

on the other side, Clem is 88 and did the best he knew how for Mom. I know that and I try to keep in touch with him because he is so lonely. Poor guy, he has always had someone there to eat dinner with....

It's difficult for me, I am the only one trying to make Clem feel less alone, my brothers could care less and Clem has 6 kids, all of which live out of state and are very busy. I don't have the heart to stop talking to him. I send him pics of my little boy regularly and send him funny e-mails when I can.

The loss of Mom has changed me. I am also very concerned about my family and could care less about work. I own my own business and I am lucky I have a great assistant, if it weren't for her, I'd be out of business.

I am reading a book called Feather Brushes of the Heart(I think). It is stories from women who have lost their Moms but still feel her spirit near them. Some stories are a little out there, but many of them are simple reminders that your mother lives within you now, in your heart, in your actions, and in your thoughts.

We will never feel as whole as we did when we had Mom to call, but we must rejoice in the love that our Moms gave to us and the gift of love that we can share with others.

I am still crying like a baby atleast once a week, but I am able to face the world with a smile and feel so lucky that I had one of the greatest Moms ever. Our relationship was envied by many and I can only hope that my son and I will share a special relationship like I had with my Mom.
Take Care and write again, let me know how you are doing.

Peace.

Janet





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