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Grief & Loss Message Board

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War Vet's Story
Aug 30, 2008
Hi Friends....

This is my first post to this forum so here goes....

My father was the type of man that always had a kind word or gesture for you. He accepted you as a stranger for the first 5 mins and then you had a friend for life. He was a pillar of wisdom and strength and always seemed to have the right answer and if he didn't have the answer he would find out for you no matter how long it took. He was the type of man that could do something with anything and anything with nothing.

September 31, 2005 he lost his fight to melanoma cancer. It came on fast and took him even faster. The day he died, so did I.

I am a 4 time Iraq war veteran. I have been in the military for 12 years. Dad always had my back and never stopped telling me how proud he was of me. Not one time went by, night or day, that he would not pick up that phone when I called him. It still feels that way today. Like I can dial his phone number and I will hear his voice on the other end.

My 3rd tour in Iraq ended in September 2005. That's when I found out about his cancer. This news was kept from me because I was in a combat zone and my family did not want to stress me out anymore than I already was. As soon as I got home the cancer took a turn for the worse and he had very little time. I packed the family up in the car and we took off from Colorado heading for Maine.....he died while we were on the way there.

Come full circle to today and I am still in a state of denial and I am extremely upset that I did not get to see him before he passed. Inside I felt like that was a right I had because my father's only other son took his own life in 1989 I am the last remaining male in my family history. I realize now that I spent years and years trying to please him and make him proud and now he is gone. I have no idea what to do with myself. Life no longer seems to have have a purpose. It's putting a lot of undue hardship on my wife and kids and I am killing my military career because I simply do not care like I used to.

Thanks for reading my story, any responses are welcome good or bad.

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