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Grief & Loss Message Board


Grief & Loss Board Index


My mom passed away after a very brief and suddon illness, she got sick in april this year but we were told it was just arthrtis up until july 12th whe she called me and said she couldnt move her 1 leg so i took her to the hospital and they did xrays and blood work and called me the next day to say they were keeping her there and that the x rays showed a broken hip and pelvis i couldnt understand how this could have happened as i was with her all the time and she never fell but they said theres more they found she had cancer all through her liver, pancres and gall bladder and said it was in the bones now to and thats what broke those parts on her i couldnt believe what i was hearing. she never smoked, or drank she ate healthy and did the mall work all the time. the dr. said she has only weeks left so my kids and me were there every day with her from morning till night she was in there for 2 weeks my daughter stayed there the last 7 days over night with my son and i stayed there all night the last 4 days it was hard to cause i also have a 2 year old. we didnt know when she was going to go but we could see once she was in there for a week her deteriateing before us so we stayed all the time. it was hard cause i always told her i would take care of her if she ever got sick and wouldnt send her away she said if she was dieing she wanted to at home then i sent her there she actually said to some one at the hospital when i was there that i said i wouldnt send her away and did that hurt so much i told her i had to cause i couldnt help her and she needed help now i wish i didnt maybe she would still be here she passed away july 27th so its been just over 2 months now and it hurts more now then ever i want to see her again i would give my own life just to see her and hold her again i dont want to go on any more cause it hurts so bad but the when i start thining like that i think of my kids how they would feel if i was gone and thier young it just hurts so so bad i want to feel better again but i cant
I just wanted to say that I feel so sorry for you at this time but please don't be feeling bad that your mum was in hospital at the end. You were not to know that she wouldn't be coming out. You didn't send her away. You just wanted the best for your mum just like everyone wants for their mum. You said that you feel guilty because she said that you sent her away but don't forget that she wouldn't have been thinking straight at the time- medication and her own worries.. No mum would want their child to worry like you are now, and I'm sure that she realised that by you staying there everyday with her you were doing as much as you could. You did your best for your mum and by what you have said, there wasn't anything else realistically that you could have done. It must have been really hard dealing with that as well as having 2 kids to look after and your mum will have known that.
It's not fair that your mum should have gone so suddenly and as you say, it's still early days, but please don't wish your own life away to be with her. That's the last thing your mum and kids would want you to do. Yeah it hurts like hell knowing that she's not here anymore and there's nothing that can take that pain away, time will ease it but the pain will never really go.
You must be a really strong woman to have coped with all that and I'm sure that you know in your heart that your mum loves you and wants the best for you and your kids so just keep taking things a day at a time and you'll get through.
(hugs)
Poppy
Thank you so much, my 2 kids were a great help they were there at the hospital all the time to the only one that wasent there all the time was my 3rd child because she is only 2 but my husband would bring her every night to pick me up and we let her stay for 5-10 min a night cause she was to young to sit still and even the night before my mom passed away she said to my 2 year old nanny loves you so much but my daughter was scared to go near her she still always says i want to go see nanny and even says she misses her its so hard
Hi Everyone, I lost my mom about 6 weeks ago to Ovarian Cancer..she was only 54 and I am 26. She did not even survive for one year with cancer. She died in her own home surrounded by family, she went in such a peaceful way. But for some reason for the past couple of days I havent been able to get the images of her last breath out of my mind...the situation is finally starting to become real. She was such an amazing woman and as mother there was never a time that she put herself first...i have so much anger that the most sweet and beautiful i knew was cursed with such a horrible disease...
My Mom died very suddenly about 5 months ago and I still mourn her every day. She was my best friend and my biggest supporter. I never imagined that it would be so hard. Some days are better but I long for the day when I can just take comfort in all the happy memories she made for me. I do feel like at my age (37) that I shouldn't be so sad....but that's just how it is. I pray for anyone who has experienced such loss.
I lost my mom in May of this year, and will be 30 in January. I do not think your age should lessen your grief for your mom, best friend. She was the person who knew you inside and out, every cut, bruise and broken heart. Trying to grieve such a person will be lifelong. I have two babies and one on the way. I cry everyday for my mom and some days it hurts wake up, but I do. Because, I know my mom would want me to be the best mom I can be. I just want you to know that you're not alone. Our mother's are irreplaceable and will missed forever.
I was wanting to know what all of you are doing to cope with the grief. I'm always the strong one in my family, but losing my mom has taken it's toll. I have two beautiful baby boys and one on the way. My husband is amazing, but until you've lost someone so close to you it's hard to relate. That's why I'm asking you guys....should I consult a grief consoler? I just need an outlet to talk about everything. My mom suffered for 5 years and I bottled everything up until the end so I could be her rock, well now it's all coming out. I need to make myself better for my family. Any thoughts...I would really appreciate your help! =)
Yes, Yes, Yes...Jen you should see a counselor...I am a counselor myself and I am now going to work on my own feelings. Grief brings on a whole new feeling of being alone. Even though you may not physically be alone, and you have wonderful people in your life supporting you they are not going through what you are dealing with. Your husband lost your mom also, but he is not feeling the same that you are...anyone out there reading this please remember that going to therapy is not a sign of weakness...therapy will entice you to think in new ways that you might not have without the guidance of someone who is completely removed from your situation...:angel:





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