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Grief & Loss Message Board


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Glad you read through the post to the pain that I carried as I wrote. Yes, i will forever miss my husband for all the dreams and wishes we kept saying 'when the kids graduate . . ." because we sacrificed so much in our daily lives for the kids education (12 yrs. Catholic School for both)

My kids are now both fine with me and Joe. They talk with him. In fact they even call him directly when they need to talk with someone other than me. The fact that during his recuperation from widowhood he became a teacher for awhile is another gift from God because both my kids are going to school to be teachers and his knowledge is helping.

You are feeling left out because your Dad has someone and the siblings do too so you need to stretch yourself out of the shell you got yourself into. If you are in school, there's charities and organization's there to lend your assistance.

about meeting her or needing time. Time is the enemy sweets -- as anyone who lost someone knows. How much time? a week, month, a year???
My mother-in-law who is more of a mother to me than mine was -- is a very singular woman who lives for her kids. I wanted her to meet Joe out of respect as a Mom, just like I introduced Joe to my own mother. She refused to meet him one on one saying it would make her feel funny. She said she knew how much I loved her son and it showed when we were together she said that seeing me with someone else would be difficult. While that hurt me so deeply, I overcame it and waited for a party reason and brought Joe. Everyone was fine with him. Cool but fine.

Joe has a very, very small family and mostly spent time with his son and his mother-in-law since his wife was her only child. She too was upset by his dating. While I let it go for quite awhile, I forced myself onto the woman. And over time showed her that nothing in her relationship with her grandson or son-in-law would change but be enhanced by my presence. I give her flowers on the holidays like I figured her daughter would and I respect her. Slowly she is seeing me as a person she doesn't have to feel threatened by. I won't let her control my BF as much as she may have in the past but I do allow him times alone with him. I don't feel I need to be at every family gathering so holidays are spent with my family (in-laws) and he spends his with her.

As the months progress adjustments made be made but it works for us. So please -- this woman didn't do anything wrong other than meet up with your Dad. Your mother would be happy believe me.

you don't have to be with her 24/7 but you and your siblings owe them a dinner at a restaurant that would give you all an opportunity to meet her on neutral grounds.

I told my mother-in-law not to make me choose.

CaringSister54





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