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Grief & Loss Message Board


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......and I find it hard to believe it's been a year already.

The void is still there.....I try my best to not miss her voice, her presence and her touch.

But I do....not a day passes by that I don't feel that void and yearn for her to be here with me again.

I came across a poem which describes the type of mom that she's been to me.

Hoping that it will help others here who have lost their mom too.

(((((HUGS))))) ~ Ivory :angel:

"‎My Mother kept a garden,
a garden of the heart,
She planted all the good things
that gave my life it's start.

She turned me to the sunshine
and encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing
the seeds of self-esteem...

And when the winds and rain came,
she protected me enough--
But not too much because she knew
I'd need to stand up strong and tough.

Her constant good example
always taught me right from wrong--
Markers for my pathway
that will last a lifetime long.

I am my Mother's garden.
I am her legacy-
And I hope today she feels the love
reflected back from me"
Thanks, Pattycat......I made it through the day and found that doing some things that my mom liked was a good way to spend the day.

I went to church and lit a candle for her and when heading to the store to get some milk found my car all of a sudden heading in a different direction towards the local Shrine that mom and I went to whenever she came in for a visit.

I went to the gift shop and then got a hot cocoa which was something my mom and I would have done together.

It was snowing....some flurries.....and they say that snowflakes are kisses from heaven so it felt good as they came magically down from the sky on what was suppose to be a Spring day!!

I did feel peaceful and when I finally went to the grocery store to get my milk I had this urge to buy some flowers for myself.....I almost did but they weren't on sale as usual so I passed them by.

My 22 yo daughter came home from work and suggested we play Yahtzee together in honor of my mom since it was one of her favorite games to play.

And then my 19 yo daughter walked in with the same beautiful vase of flowers that I had been looking at in the supermarket just hours before and I marveled at how that occurred!!! Another "Godwink" coming right at me!!!

I was sooo very touched and KNEW that my mom must have inspired that beautiful. loving gesture of adorning me with flowers in such a way!!

It was amazing how that same arrangement I had been looking at ended up coming to me.....and I will never doubt the love that was being sent my way.

So I thanked God for the blessings of my dear family who made it so much easier for me to get through the day and for my dear mom's ability to spread her love to me over the span of heaven and earth.

I guess it was easier knowing that I had survived all the FIRSTS since mom's passing and was closer to being able to know that she now rests in peace.

I will still miss her very much but I can feel myself doing a bit better on this journey of grief.

(((HUGS))) ~ Ivory :angel:





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