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Grief & Loss Message Board

Grief & Loss Board Index

There is no time limit on how long a person is supposed to grieve...despite some in society believing that we should, 'just get over it, already'.

There is nothing wrong with you feeling this is only natural. You will know when you are ready to move on. There is no well defined moment when this knowledge comes to just comes. I lost my beautiful, wonderful, dearest step mother six years ago...she was only 55 and she died of a broken heart, I believe, but bit by bit now, I am able to look at a photo of her without breaking down; well sometimes. Most times, I still cry, but I do know that I am better now than what I was.

I have lived with diagnosed clinical depression since the age of 14 and have at various times, had my mental state thrown in my face by certain family members, but here I can be honest and say to you that counselling with an impartial person can be a great help. Do you have free telephone counsellors in the States? In Australia, we have a country wide free phone service, called Lifeline, which is manned by teams of trained volunteers and they are there to listen to you. They listen to your problems and although they themselves cannot fix anything, they can point you to places where you can get help.

Be aware, you are not alone in this. It may feel like it...grief is a disabling, depressing, lonely condition, but there are definitely people around, myself being one, who are very happy to be able to help someone. The good thing about talking to someone impartial, is that you know that you are not being judged.

I hope that you find the aid you need, even if it is only a kindly ear, or a sturdy shoulder. I will be thinking of you...big hug to you.

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