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Grief & Loss Message Board


Grief & Loss Board Index


I had to watch my wife of seven years slowly die.She was diagnosed in December with an adenocarcinoma of unknown primary. I lost her four weeks ago today and it is still hard but I know she is better off. Everyone tells me it will get easier with time but some days it is hard just getting out of bed.You have to make yourself carry on as that is what your loved one would want. I have started a journal that I write a letter to her everyday and that does seem to help a little.
My wife had just turned 40 in March and I have had to help her clean herself up since February and she cried about wanting to have some dignity left. She had not been able to walk then. She went into hospital on Wednesday May 23 because she couldn't keep anything down and was getting dehydrated. Dr. told her she cancer had spread to every major organ but lungs and that she only had a few weeks to live. She crashed on that Friday morning and had to be sedated to keep pain under control.I can take comfort knowing the last thing she told me before she crashed was I love you. She died the following Tuesday. I had been in denial until then thinking somehow she would get better. I even told myself that if the Lord wouldn't help her that there was no way I would ever worship him again. I was wrong because I realized that if I want to see her again that my faith was gonna have to be as strong as hers. She never lost faith the whole time she was sick and she tried to tell me not to cry. I told her I couldn't promise that.The first two weeks weren't that bad because I was in shock.Starting the third week I have broke down every day and I have even prayed that the Lord would go ahead and take me too. I have to carry on because of the kids but I have not seen any light at the end of the tunnel.





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