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HIV Prevention Message Board

HIV Prevention Board Index

I may have HIV
Jul 25, 2017
I'm so upset right now. I tested positive for herpes almost two weeks ago then I was left to find out my BF has hiv. He showed me his results when we first started sleeping together and the test said "undetectable". I questioned him about what it meant. He finally then told me he had and that he's been on medications for it. I've been scared. We have oral sex and have always used condoms with vaginal but I realize all it takes it's one time. And bad luck.....i took an HIV RNA test a few days ago and waiting for the results is torture. I developed a fever after the herpes trasmission. Now I'm back with a low grade fever, congestion, slight cough. The unprotected encounter was 3 weeks ago. I have not slept with him since. He lied to me when I told I was being careful by asking to see his hiv screen. If he gave me one disease, he could give me another. Im not invincible. I keep praying. Looking up statistics, I don't eat. I don't sleep. My blood pressure is high and my heart rate is above 130s because I'm do anxious. I started drinking because I'm scared. But it doesn't matter if I'm scared. All it takes is one time, 1 transmission and seriously bad luck. Im running a fever of 99.5F without taking any meds. I went to the ER two weeks after exposure. But when it comes to post exposure prophalaxis. I did not meet the criteria. I may have found out too late. They did an HIV screen which was negative however, it was in the 2 week window period. I can't deal. The lies. The hurt. The trust broken. I feel like I'm playing russian roulette. When they have my results, I don't think I have the strength to open it.......prayers please. That's the only way I have a chance. If God spares me for not trusting him and instead trusting the wrong person.....

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