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Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Board Index

[QUOTE=OrangeCouture]My brother and sister-in-law allowed their son to sleep with them and he is 8 years old and still trying to because they allowed him to sleep with them since he was a baby and he won't even sleep over anywhere because he became so dependant. [/QUOTE]

I wouldn't base your paranoia on that. It's HOW the child is raised, not what sleeping arrangements are in place. You can safely allow your child to sleep with you in your room and make a transition later without an 8 year old climbing into bed with you. Even families who co-sleep end up with indipendent children.

Having said that, it's just a matter of reconditioning your baby. He's used to sleeping in your arms, so of course it might take a bit longer to get him used to being put down.

I always wanted to co-sleep, but after one night of frantically being woken up by my husband because DD was burried under the covers, she prompty went back into her bassinet! It freaked me out. But I still like the closeness of her falling asleep in bed at the breast, so what I do is wait until she is dead asleep, then roll away from her, then move her to her bassinet.

Now it doesn't matter where she falls asleep - my arms, grandmas arms, in her swing, she always does well being moved.

It may take you a couple of nights of trying to get him moved into bed. If it were me, I would start early and try putting him down in his own bed (where ever you decide to put him). If he wakes, then sooth him back to sleep, if you BF then try that, or what ever else works, wait until he is settled, then try again. You'll probably find that he'll wake upon realizing that he isn't with you, so it might to put him down slightly awake (nice and relaxed and settled, but not out cold) so he's not startled, and hopefully he'll finally fall asleep on his own if he's tired enough.

I would make sure you get a good nap one afternoon (and him too), and set out to put him to sleep in his own bed that night. I did this to get DD used to napping in her crib (before she'd only sleep in her swing or bassinet, now she naps in her nursery with the door closed). It worked great over the course of a few days, now she naps in there on her own for 2 hours at a time.
My 4 month old sleeps in bed with me, as did my now 12 year old. My 12 year old just decided one day she was ready to stay in her own room, I never forced her. My husband is a Truck Driver and when he is gone I always want my 12 year old to sleep with me because I miss having her in my bed. We stay up late and watch Nick at Nite and talk and we have a really strong bond. I had a harder time dealing with the transition of her going to her own bed than she ever did. I have always had a crib and bassinet, but I just can't seem to use them. Also my 12 year old had seizures as a baby and I wanted her close and now my newest baby daughter has had medical problems and has been on a heart monitor until recently, so I feel like I have to have them near. And when my 12 year old sleeps in her own room, I check her 3 times a night to make sure she is still breathing. I know, I have issues. :)

I realize my choices are not the best for everybody, so you just have to do what feels right to you. I will say that my 12 year old is the most strong-willed, independent, mind-of-her-own, person I have ever met. And she is homeschooled at that. So having an older child in your bed will not make them less independent. As North of 60 stated, it's how your child is raised.
Some psychologists don't recommend co-sleeping, but some psychologists say it makes some families closer.

This is a little off track from your post, but I just wanted to share my experience. :p

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