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Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

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This is kind of an update. My baby is now 3 months + 3 weeks and
still wakes up every 3 hours or less for a bottle at night and takes two 20
min naps a day. Nothing helps. I think I just have a non-sleeper on my hands.
I've tried absolutely everything except cry it out, which I won't do.
I let her cry for one minute and couldn't take it. I even tried feeding her more.
(I give her veggies for her constipation). Doesn't help a bit.

**OH WELL** I've started consuming caffeine again after being off it for 2 years. I figure, if I can't get sleep, I might as well feel better with caffeine.

Of course, I get a little upset when I read things like "My baby is 4 months old and she's wiped out at 9:30pm until 8am". Must be nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chloe finally went to sleep at 11:30pm last night after a lot of coaxing. Woke up 2 hours later for a bottle.

I suppose God gave me this challenge for a reason!!!

What I am about to say is not often favored by the "cry it out" crowd, so if you are opposed to differing opinions on alternatives to CIO and the reasons for not doing it, then skip my post.


[QUOTE=Cheyenne1]A little cranky?.. let her cry its good for her and her lungs. I know guilt right? [/quote]

Crying is not good for a baby's lung. Period. There isn't a shred of evidence to prove otherwise, and there hasn't been for quite some time. Don't be confused by the old adage of it relieving stress, because while it does, that is not just cause to leave a baby unattended. There is a difference in relieving stress in the arms of a loving caregiver, and being abandoned at 4 months old. It is much wiser to find the [i]source[/i] of your baby's stress and deal with that. Crying is simply their way of communicating that something isn't right. Please don't ignore it.

[quote]But let me just say this...your teaching her how to get what she wants by coming to her rescue every time she starts to cry. [/QUOTE]

You say this like it's a bad thing?

A 4 month old baby NEEDS to learn to trust. They NEED to learn how to communicate. Talking, crying, fussing, even dropping things on the floor... these are all ways they learn to communicate.

Answering a baby's cries teaches them to be confident in their effectiveness to communicate. Baby learns they need something, so they ask for it by crying. Baby learns how to get attention, so they drop something on the floor. This is an IMPORTANT developmental learning curve.

Denying your child the opportunity to learn to communicate by ignoring them will only create problems later. If you don't answer their desire to communicate - chewing on a hand when hungry, crying when in need of human comfort, dropping something on the floor for attention - then your child can loose confidence in their desire to communicate and can become withdrawn, which later in life manifests as the inability to effectively communicate.

Furthermore, a 4 month old baby NEEDS human contact and comfort. They spent 9 months sleeping with you, eating with you, and listening to your voice. Is it any wonder that, at only 4 months old, they still NEED those things? It's not to me.

As for sleeping, Paula, I SO feel for you!! Since Ava started teething we have digressed in the sleeping department. I know what it's like to be sleep deprived! Having said that, at 4 months old, it's still pretty common to wake every 2-3 hours.

A few things I would try, if you haven't already:

* Increase feedings during the day, especially in the evening.

* Try a pacifier.

* When she wakes in the morning, try to get her first nap an hour or two after waking. I say this because becoming over tired is the root of all our sleep issues. If I get her napping off to a good start she sleeps MUCH better at night. You would think a tired baby would sleep better at night. HA! Yeah right. Nap, nap, nap.

* Make sure you're not dealing with teething, ear ache, constipation, gas, etc. If you are, treat accordingly. It makes ALL the difference in the world.

* See a chiropractor. Don't be confused, harsh manipulation is not used on infants, however, a good chiro will show you ways to massage, as well as pressure points, which are good for releasing stress and anxiety.

* And lastly, do what works! Don't spend all your time trying to get her used to sleeping in the crib (or where ever you want her to sleep). That will come later. The important thing is to get her to sleep. If she does best in a swing, put the swing next to your bed. Same for bouncy seats, car seats, play mats, whatever. You want sleep to be a pleasant state, so whatever gets her there the easiest with the less amount of stress is the way to go. [i]Where[/i] she sleeps will come later, and naturally.

But above all else, is she happy? Every baby is different, so if she is happy and healthy, I would try not to worry [i]too[/i] much. Sleep is important, don't get me wrong, but you can't force a baby to sleep. You can help them as much as possible, but you just can't force it.

Oh yeah, and if possible, nap with your baby. That has saved me. I nap with Ava, and on some days, especially lately, it's the only way either of us get any sleep.

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