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Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Board Index

Re: Help please
Sep 29, 2006
Hi Lesleykev...

I'm probably going to get slated for saying this but here goes...

At four months my dd learned that crying was a very effective tool for getting mummy back into the room. I figured this out when she would do a protest cry and I would go down, as soon as I got to her crib she would smile and want to play.

I realised then that she is a really social baby and just wanted to be with me. From then on I thought I really can't be coming down here every time she cries only for her to smile and girgle... especially when I KNOW she is really tired and needs sleep. So I let her do her protest cry (not a full blown wail and more like a annoyed grizzle). So my first question to you is

a) does your baby cry or protest?
b) do you pick baby up every time he grizzles?
c) are you giving him enough of a chance to get used to his crib ie every time he goes to bed, he gets put into his crib?

Some people might not like my methods but when my dd was around 4-5months, I let her cry for three minutes (I had a clock next to me timing it) I would go in and not say a word and not smile only retuck her in and go sshhhhhhh. Its quite a long process and if she got really upset I would pick her up and give her a cuddle and a burp (crying causes wind, even just the grizzly cries) and then place her back down without talking or smiling just saying sssshhhhh.

My dd was a sucky baby and she would nurse on me all day if given the chance so I gave her a pacifier. This helped. I also swaddled her.

I know how hard it is to instil bedtime habits, its hard work and sometimes you just do what you need to do to get her to sleep. but at the four month mark I believe its a good time to practice bed time equals crib.

I'm not a cosleeper advocate but that's not to say there isn't anything wrong with it.... its just not my cup of tea. I enjoy having my bed as a sanctuary and its quality time for dh and me to have alone.

My dd is now 9 months old and has been sleeping well in her crib since she graduated from her basinette at four months. It took hard work tho. ]

Keep thinking about what you want in the long run. What I did was imagine that my dd was my second child, if i put her to bed and she cried, I can't go down there at a drop of a hat to tend to her if I had a toddler, nor could I rock her to sleep in my arms every time she needed a nap. Imagine that three minutes of waiting is hypothetically for you to make sure your toddler is safe, playing with something appropriate and not going to injur him/herself... this could take a couple of minutes.... after three minutes, extend it to five, then ten, you'll find ds may be asleep by then.

If you think about trying this method, save it for a weekend when dh is there to help... my dh and I took turns every three minutes to go down check on her. REMEMBER this method means that you don't pick him up out of bed (exception: if he is really upset ie not just protest crying, or needs winding, then HE GOES RIGHT BACK DOWN INTO THE CRIB). And, you don't smile or talk to him. The effect is that baby learns that its not play time and mummy isn't going to play with you when you should be going to sleep.

Good luck
Feel free to ignore any part of what I've said and pick out any parts that you agreed with... my methods may not be for everyone :D but if you don't like the results of your efforts at the moment, then it might be worth a shot.

NB: babies at this age can cry for upto 3-4 hours a day. You're not a bad mumma if you baby cries, especially if they're tired and need that nap.


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