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Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Board Index

My son is 7 and a half months old. He currently sleeps with me for both naps during the day. When we put him down at night, he goes into his crib and stays there until about 11 when he wakes up and starts to cry. He does not settle down until we bring him to the bed. From what I have read, I know it is important to have our son figure out how to sleep on his own, with that said we are currently trying to transition him to his crib for his naps and through the night. I struggle with listening to him cry. I have tried it and even after 45 minutes of crying, he is still going strong. I need help-what should I do? Should I try to go cold turkey and have him in his crib for all sleeping? Should I do it little by little? How can I do any of this without all of the tears? Any help at all would be appreciated!
Hi Denise. I would say you need to have him sleep in the same place for naps and at night. The earlier you can get him to learn to sleep in his own bed the better because it will only get more difficult as he gets older for him to transition. But I would suggest start by having him sleep in his crib for naptimes and get him used to that and then when he gets up at night just go in and pat him on the back or something to soothe him or maybe even rock him a little but don't bring him to bed with you. I know everything sounds easy enough but it is so hard when you are in the moment and dealing with a screaming child, believe me I have 2 of my own, the oldest is 3 and the youngest is 1. Does he have a security item like a blanket or teddy bear the he likes to hold on to? If not, now may be the time to get him used to something he can get attached to and that might make it easier too. You just need for your son's sake and for yours get him used to sleeping in his own bed. There will be tears and it won't be easy but just remember that you are the boss and you need to do what is best for him. Good luck to you.
Hi Denise,

If you (and your SO) are enjoying the co-sleeping, you don't NEED to transition him to his crib. He's still very young, and it's normal and completely natural for him to want to be with mommy. I know plenty of happy mama's and babies who are still co-sleeping well into toddler-hood. There's nothing wrong with it. If however, you're wanting to move him out of the bed for other reasons (which is also totally normal and natural--mama's gotta have some space of her own ;)), then I also suggest doing it very little, by very little. *I* wouldn't let him CIO, if it was my baby. With my first ds I did use this method because I thought it was the "right" way, and I figured that he had to eventually learn to go to sleep on his own, nap when I wanted him to nap, etc.. But I looking back I feel absolutely terrible about letting him cry. And I won't let my ds2 (who's now 9mo) CIO. It's pretty harsh when you think about it, and there's a reason that you feel terrible listening to him crying all alone--it's just not the natural way of things. Not to mention, if you answer his cries ASAP, he'll only feel more secure in knowing that you're not far away. But anyway, not trying to get preachy--just my 2 cents. :)
With that being said, if you want him out of the bed sooner than later, I would perhaps try putting him down in his crib for naps when he's VERRRRY tired, almost asleep. If he wakes right back up, go through the routine again (do whatever you normally do to put him to sleep, then transition him to the crib). Eventually he'll realize when he's waking up there, that's where he's supposed to sleep, and as he gets older, he'll get used to it. But I think that very slowly, and not just leaving him in there all by himself, is going to be the most gentle way. If he's not used to it, he's not going to want to be there, particularily if he's "forced" to be, KWIM?

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