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Hi Laura :wave:

I'm sorry to hear that your journey has been long and hard as well. {{{{{{ Laura}}}}}} I'm very gald that we will be cycling together though. I'm also glad that you feel better writing your story to me.

We suffer from male infertility- morphology..but the RE says that it isn't that bad so we fall under unexplained infertility as well. I went off BC in 1998 but my GYN did not feel the need to refer us to the RE until 2003. From 98- 03 we did temps, ovulation kits etc...

Once with the RE, I did 5 rounds of IUI's 2 with Clomid. First cycle i had 6 follies and the second 9 follies. I had horrible s/e from clomid BUT I got a BFP that I ended up having a D&C just shy of three months because the heart stopped beating. We had seen the heartbeat the two u/s prior :( After that I waited for a full two months for AF to arrive. I thought the witch was never gonna show again!! When she did decide to appear...she did so in a GUSH, on the ferry and I was wearing a summer dress... I was covered in blood. I was never more embarrassed in my life!!!
Then I did 3 IUI's with follistim each with 2 mature follies. My RE would not allow me to "grow" more than two mature follies with the follistim because of the high chance of multiples. I think that is nuts...obviously DH's guys need more targets...so no BFP from these 3 IUI's. Now I'm on to IVF.

I took my last BC this morning. I'm also taking my prenatals. I've been taking 20 units of Lupron since 1/17/05..which I will continue to take for 3 weeks YIKES!! They had warned me that my road with Lupron would be rough given what Clomid did to me. Clomid was BAD, Lupron is WORSE. I just didn't realize that it would be THIS rough.

All I know now is that I'm to wait for AF to arrive and start my stims.. 75 follistim, 75 Repronex, doxycycline for both DH and I, and 81mgs of baby asprins. the first thursday after AF arrives I go for my b/w & u/s. Dosages will be adjusted as needed. I stay on stims for about 10 days.
Novarel (HCG)- stop baby asprins-
2 days later-ER-done under anesthesia, start PIO shots, start doxcycline and baby asprins again and take medrol
Valium morning of ET

I have a chart on my fridge too! AND I'm NOT a teacher :D I don't think there is any other way to do it.

My DH wasn't very supportive for a long while. We finally had several heart to hearts and it was HIS feeling bad that I have to endure the treatments that was holding him back emotionally. He takes me to every appointment and has been very understanding this cycle.

As far as i know after ER we're supposed to ask the grade of the eggs and the cell counts- 8 I think is the best, or the best that I've heard aside from a blast. Did you do ICSI and AH?? Yeah, you probably did because of DH's #'s. I will be doing ICSI..AH will be decided the day of ET.

You are not alone with your feelings, I also feel very desperate now that I am at the IVF stage. I think before, it didn't occur to me that it wouldn't happen for us. Now with IVF, I know that we are at the end of the line so to speak. All of my siblings have children, and no, they do not understand what I am going through. I don't blame them...I would never have understood if i didn't have to walk this road either. I am frustrated and hurt and keep wondering why this is happening to me. It doesn't help when people say that things happen for a reason..what's the reason?? Would DH and I not be good parents? Or do our genes just suck? KWIM???

At this point my biggest fear is that when they retrieve my eggs they will find out that my egg quality is not good. When I had my D&C I had the fetus tested and it had 69 chromosomes- an extra strand...the egg or sperm didn't split or a two headed bugger got in there. This TERRIFIES me.

OK, now I wrote a book!!

TTYL,
Doreen





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