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Hey folks...It's been a while since my last post. DH and I have been going through a lot in the last five months, so I haven't had many opportunities to get on here. However, in the past few weeks...I have REALLY needed to get on "The Boards" to collect some positive vibes!

I think the last I submitted an entry, I was still on the dreaded Clomid! Since then...DH and I tried to do an IUI because the doc thought the Clomid was making a "hostile environment" for DH's little swimmers. IUI was a total failure...too much pressure for DH to endure! I felt horrible because it is MY fault that he has to go through this whole mess!!

Then, Dr.M decided to switch me from Clomid to Follisitm. UGH! Shots are awful! This was a huge deal for me as I have a terrible fear of needles! That was 4 cycles ago...we are now doing Follistim, Repronex, Ganarelix, HCG Trigger, and Progesterone! All just to make me ovulate!!!!!! It's killing me! I know there are folks who are going through even more than this...nevertheless it still bothers me!

I am having aweful thoughts of guilt because DH has to go through all of this when he is fine! Sometimes, I just wanna give up...maybe I am not strong enough for all of this???! I am sooooooooo tired of sticking myself with those G-Damn needles! But then again, I wanna be a Mommy SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY!!!!!!!!!! So I guess it's "onward and forward" for me...don't have any choices....gotta keep going...right?

Thanks for listening!





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