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Hi Holly, Lori and everyone I have been trying to log on all day. Darn system was not working when I could have really used some support from my cyber buddies.

Ok guys. Well I did HPT this morning and it was a BFN…..:mad: as I had said before this is not much of a surprise :rolleyes: as it was the WORST cycle I have ever had with 2 cysts, 1st ever High FSH level and only 2 follies and crappy lining. DH sperm count was also not great. The good news is my egg quality seemed to be good so I am most happy about that if there is anything TO BE happy about. Still waiting for BETA but even the Nurse said EPT is a good way to test …. in a nice way she said it probably is BFN. Glad I had acu yesterday as I feel it helps me stay calm :yawn: . So moving forward my biggest concern now is that my FSH is back to normal for next cycle, actually for the next few years please :dizzy: !!!!! and more importantly that when he increases the follistim that I will respond with more egg production. This is a HUGE concern for me as it will determine if I will be an IVF candidate using my own eggs (don’t even want to go there). I asked RE to do inhibin B blood test on me which will give us some more information of my egg quality and production but this test is just a general test for those of you who may want to have it done sometimes one month levels are good and sometimes not so good so I just want to say I am doing it to get an idea….if the test gives me a really bad result then it will most likely be an indication of a problem. But for you guys if you do get it done it may have to be done several times as levels may change. As my RE told me inhibin B and FSH levels that are not good does not mean you won’t get pregnant he has cases to prove it where pregnancy was achieved with much worse FSH as mine and the women being much older too so I just wanted to add that for those who ever had or will have abnormal results in any of the above tests. So really I feel I have more to worry about than just this cycle the BIG Picture is what’s at stake here…. :eek: I am anxious to see how I react to adjustments in medications. RE and DH still want to do one more IUI…. I guess I don’t have a choice since we have to get my egg production going better 1st so this is what I have to deal with :rolleyes: . No sign of AF :mad: but I hope if she’s going show her dumb butt that she better get out here and do it. I’ve got some lemons and limes I’m gonna squeeze on her butt!!! The reality is I have changed they way I pray to god. I will still pray to have my own child but god already knows whether I will or will not. But I have a new prayer I am praying that this IF journey will end soon b/c I just am getting tired of all this pain and suffering and want to go on living again. So I am going to pray that if IVF isn’t going to work for god to help me a little and not let me even be a candidate for it. I don’t know if my egg production is not good if I will use donor eggs. I just can’t even think :( of it right now so I will just take it all in stride until I have more information.

I am going to FL for the christening of my godson in March and have to see SIL that is pregnant w/ #2 and will likely be showing a bit by then. I am already feeling crappy about the whole thing. Crappy for wanting to avoid her and crappy for myself . I know she feels weird w/ us and I just don’t know how it’s going to be when we go. I hate this part of IF it just makes you feel like such a bad person for feeling this way and yet you can’t help it. Anyway I had to vent and let this all out. Sorry for the long e-mail :eek: . Just one more thing….


Does anyone know between Gonal F and Follistim is one stronger that the other when measuring the IU’s they give you??? For i.e. Is 75 IU of Gonal the same as 75 IU’s of follistim???

If you are taking progesterone, how long does it take for AF to show up??

Thanks for all the support you guys. I appreciate all the prayers you sent my way. I guess Saint Gerard and Saint Anne are just too busy for me right now.

Oh and a quote for the day…(got it out of a fortune cookie once and I keep it on my wall at work) here it is….” Many a false step is made by standing still.” So I'll keep moving I suppose.

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