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Oh Kari and Car you are too sweet, thinking of me!! :D No sign of AF however. :( Nothing at all.

I had kind of an IF related "argument" (more like a loud conversation really, to be clear.) with Dh yesterday. He and my MIL (she was on speakphone during all of this...) think that I'm being to stressed out by IF. For the usual reasons, because I get upset when I see pg women, it's hard to see kids being mistreated (not just hard in the normal way to see it, but to the point where I get in my car and start crying) and really hard to see kids getting spoiled to the point where they are brats and nobody wants them over. :( Well, of course they were both not very understanding of that (surprise, surprise..) and they both started yelling at me that if I don't relax, it'll never happen. And of course, I started to cry which made things ten times worse.

I do relax, and de-stress, but they said that doing say, yoga, just for the sake of relaxing and telling yourself to relax won't work. And to a certain degree, I see their point. But, what am I supposed to do? I actually got very mad at DH and yelled at him (I rarely ever yell) "I love you so much, all I want to give you is a child!! And I can't do it!! I don't expect you to understand how that feels, but don't tell me that I'm too tense and then offer me NO solutions on how to relax. It's easy to point out the problems, so either help or don't talk."

I think I kind of shocked him. And then all he said was "I want us to have a baby too. It doesn't matter if it's you or me who has the problem. When I put that ring on your finger, you and me didn't exist anymore. It's just us, we're one. You think it doesn't rip me up inside seeing you cry after seeing a pregnant woman, or a baby? It kills me. Don't tell me I don't understand." It sounds nice, but he was yellling it at the time. (MIL still listening)

She just kept saying that I have to relax. Take the pills, but stop crying after seeing pg women. She says that it sounds to her that I'm giving up hope when I've barely even started trying. She said that where there's a will there is a way. (All of this sounds nice, but believe me, the deliverance needed some work. LOL)

But later on, after we let MIL go we both calmed down and really reflected on what was said. (And I felt better at what he said. He just really needs to work on HOW he says things LOL) He held me close and said "You WILL have you baby." That's all he said, and for some reason, every time I think about it, I tear up. I don't knnow if I'm sad, or happy, or what. But I do.

Another emotional day LOL. But it's good. The only thing is.....how do you relax? I mean, I totally agree with them adn everyone here who says you can't get stressed out. Your body won't let you get pg when your stressed, because it thinks something externally is wrong. But how do you "let it go"? And still be positive? I really don't understand. How are you supposed to relax fully? I can't wrap my mind around it.

Anyway, I called my obgyn for an appointment wed. morning to see abotu AF coming. I don't think I'm pg, so I'm not even considering that an option. Maybe that's being negative. Maybe that's "letting it go". How the heck am I supposed to know, I am so confused. :confused: I just hope that maybe he can give Provera for longer (becase I don't think 5 days is long enough) and maybe it'll work this time.

I hope everyone is having a great day!! (And just to be clear again DH and I didn't argue, we just had a loud conversation :))
Sorry, nope, nothing today... I wish I could tell you ladies that she finally decided to show her face, but not yet. Hopefully tomms appt will help. I just hope I don't have to go through u/s and b/w or anything. I just think I needed to take Provera for longer, maybe 7 days instead of the 5? I mean, I know u/s or b/w woudl be beneficial to finding out what's going on, but I don't want to wait to get an appt, then have to go back to gyn to find out results of the appt, and then start a pill and have to wait. I mean, I know we have to be patient, but still. I just want to start on my first medicated cycle already!! But again, just have to be patient. Good things come to those who wait. Patience is a virtue. I want to start noooooo-owwwww. (That is me whining 'now')





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