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Ladies, I am honestly moved to tears by how sweet and helpful you all have been. I really do appreciate everyone's input so so so much. I truly do.

Unfortunately. About an hour or so after I wrote that post, I started spotting. I don't know what I had hoped for, but maybe something to do with BFP? But then it became more and more apparent, it was indeed AF. I am honestly more shocked than sad---- I really thought BFP! That makes me sound really crazy now, lol.

It would have been fine, but I found out one of DH's cousins is pg (not the evil cousin). She is really sweet and her husband is very kind, so I know they will be good parents. The only thing that kind of bites is that Dh and I have been married 2 years, while they have been married 5 months. :eek: I am happy for her----I know I am deep down below the mess of disappointment and badness that I feel. But honestly, when I heard that she is pg-----my first thought is that "She has my baby". How silly is that? :o

And then I heard another story, about this cousin's friend. She was married, but going to university, and she got pg with twins. But then she lost them at 12 weeks.....but she was happy about it!!! Because she wanted to keep going to school......but how could she have been happy about it??? :mad: And NOW, and here's the cherry onthe sundae of the day, she's pg with TRIPLETS!! I'm a pretty religious person---but when I here of things liek that---it makes it so much harder.

I'm so sorry---I've been so negative this entire thread. :( I really must pull myself up. I guess, at the very least-- I got my BFN from AF---not from a beta or hpt. And we can start right away on next cycle. Although----Dh IS working the bad shift where we can hardly BD during the important days. But we never know, right?





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