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Newbie on Board!!!
Feb 22, 2010
Hi everyone!

All right. Contrary to the thread title, I'm not actually a newbie. I'm new to the board- in the posting sense. However, infertility has been my nemesis for a few years now. Almost four. So definitely not new to Infertility.

A little bit about me: I started lurking aroudn these boards every so often a few years ago. Just a little bit here and there, not regularly, but I never posted. I guess because I was scared that I wouldn't fit in? Everyone seemed so close-- like membership jackets (something about an IVF club?) and things. But here I am now!

My hubby and I got married when I was 20. I'm now 24. I have PCOS, somethign i've known ever since I was 14. However, it was always easily corrected with birth control pills and Nair. (The excess hair thing) But when we got married (and we stopped birth control from the first time we were together after we got married) we decided to try. Well, the high school after school programs rubbed off too much on me, because I thought I'd get pregnant right away, even though I knew I had PCOS.

Well, months turned into years, and negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test was starting to take it's tol. Not to mention my period was next to absent. Rarely ever came.

Fast forwarding through evil gynos that made me cry, to not being taken seriusly by people because of my age, to acupuncture to Clmoid, to ovarian drilling and HSG and fibroid removal... I finally went to an Re in London. (London Sounthern Ontario Canada, not London England) He was amazing. And after my second IUI (PS, Dh got tested, and donor quality sperm) I got pregnant. After three years of trying at that point.

However, my numbers were awesome in the beginning. First beta: 448!!!!!!
And then the numbers tripled! And then doubled. And then stopped going up. Even dropped. So they did an ultrasound, and they found that at 8 weeks 3 days, the baby stopped died. A poorly shaped sac. No placental activity. No heartbeat.

I'll never forget that day. It still haunts me. I remember everything--- the smell of the office, the sound of a fly trapped in the window....and I remember nothing, like when my husband was apparently begging me to stop screaming and crying. But I won't talk about that more. She (and I'm certain it was a girl) is in a better place now.

But here we go again. I lost my baby in August. By December DH was starting to ask when we could try again. And I didn't feel ready until Jan. So here we are again. I am waiitng on elusive AF. I had my first natural period at the end of January--- which never happened before. Andnow, I've taken some bcp (on recommendation of gyno) to start a heavier, longer period, since that's what my body usually does. The one in January was incredbly short and light. I didn't even have to wear a pad. This coming from a woman who usually has to wear a Super Tampon and Extra-Heavy pad [I]at the same time[/I]!!

So, have a nice heavy period, and then onto Clomid and Femara.

My worries: That I am going to drive myself crazy all over again in worry. Like, I've started spotting, but I want a full on bleed. So I keep checking every ten minutes.

That even though I have taken charge of my lifestyle and lost 20 lbs since the summertime and am therefore healthier, that my body doesn't care and will still make this hard as heck.

That this board is very quiet, and not a lot of people are around. When I used to check here more regularly (YEARS AGO! :D) There seemed to be alot of posting, but not much anymore? Is that right? What I do like seeing though is that there are some people from back then who still post now....like CBB and Kari.... I wonder if they are trying again or offering continuing support?

Anyway, this post was ridiculously long! I hope you girls don't mind, and i'll try to keep it short next time. Thanks!

:angel:





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