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Hi.

ive been having difficulties finding boards with people who have experienced this illness and i feel like im in complete darkness when it comes to my knowlegde about this disease.
well ill start from the beginning.

I met my boyfriend when i was 17 (my first boyfriend ever, and his first girlfriend too), and had 7 wonderfull years together. Its needless to say i loved this man deeply and planned my future with him, he was the most caring, loving man ive ever met.

I dont even know when the weightloss started, and the pain in his back and joints. I thought he was overworked, maybe had an back injury from carrying heavy weight and so on. We went to a doctor in december, and he took a bloodtest. My boyfriend called him up a couple of days later, but we didnt really get a clear message on what was wrong with my boyfriend back then( he went to see the doctor cause he was experiencing feavor and he was feeling sick). Yesterday i found out they saw that he had 37 white blodcells back then, and this is my first concern. Is this in an early stage? Could he had begunn treatment and have a chance of surviving back then if they told us he had leukemia?

Early this febuary we are again at the doctors office(after a stop at the doctor in january, back then he got the diagnosis of an kind of back injury). Now they actually take a bloodtest and they call back the day after sending us to the hospital. There we get the message(in a quite cold and harsh way if i may add) accute leukemia (i think he had 278 white blodcells at this point, with the leukemia infecting his kidneys).

My boyfriend is puking and also urinating blood at this moment, and they send him up to another hospital so he can donate sperm...he is puking blood all the way up and has to be transported in a wheelchair everywere. Then we were free to go home the doctors said, and come back later.

Well me and his other family clearly saw he was in no state to be transported home, he needed medical care, so we insist on him staying over at the hospital.

This night my boyfriend looses his mental stability, he is starting to ramble and then he goes into unconsienceness. They scan his head and find 1 major bleeding and 2 minor, and 3 days after knowing his diagnoses he dies of the bleeding..

What i really want to know is, how bad was the state of my boyfriend at the two points you guys think?
Talking first bout december when they didnt tell him, with the whiteblodcell count of 37. And when he died with 278 whitebloodcells..could he have survived if he didnt get the bleeding in the brain? or was that too late, cause i dont even know what a high count of whitebloodcell is, like what is "normal" under the circumstances of leukemia?

I guess i want to know if anything at all could have been done to save my love.
My husband is in remission from AML following a BMT. His transplant was in June 2003. He has been battling this since Dec. 2001. He has had all the chemos listed by amlgirl2. 3 times they give him a less than 15% chance of pulling through. The last time, after the BMT, the leukemia came back, they sent us home with hospice. After discontinuing his anti-rejection medication, his new bone marrow (from an unknown donor)(10 out of 10 match) kicked in and attacked the leukemia, also attacking his liver, of course. But they got the graph vs. host (cause of the attack on his body) under control. Today he had to go to Duke, our second home, to have his lungs scoped. He has some kind of infection. He also has sores in his mouth. But since coming home in Oct. has gained 40 lbs. and can stay out of the bed all day. I can actually try to find a job after being his caregiver since February. Everything is affected by this disease but don't give up and tell those doctors their percentages are for those that don't make it. Some of us have to pull through. I decide that was going to be us. So far we are lucky. We must have love and hope, and treat everyday special by living it to our fullest. Our lives will be as long as it's supposed to be. I just have to keep reminding myself that. I pray everyday they find a cure. I have lost several friends at the bone marrow clinic and hospital unit. It's hard to accept. My husband is 43. never been sick. until now. I will say a special prayer tonight.





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