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Cancer: Lung Message Board


Cancer: Lung Board Index


Lost my dad :(
Feb 11, 2004
well i have been a reg reader of this board since april of last year when i first found out my dad had lung cancer i've shared many tears with you all here but have never written to this board..
~heavy sigh~ my dad got diagnosied with lung cancer last april 19th..when he found out it had already spread to his liver..before he was diagnosised he had started stumbling loosing sensation in his hands and legs so around the same time he was in a wheelchair..which that in itself broke my heart seeing the man who was always so invinisble and strong in my life suddenly totally dependant on my mom..so he starts chemo had a few rounds then it was at a contained stage where it hadnt grown or spread so they stopped chemo for a few weeks to let him rest..then it grows doubling in size in his lungs and liver..so they start stronger treatments a big dose once a mth and a small dose every week along with procrit and since he was losing blood and his hemogobin kept going down by now he was usually in the hospital getting 3-4 units of blood every couple of weeks...he stopped eatting a couple mths ago and since he was also diabetic he went into a coma his blood sugar went down to 17...so we rushed him to the er and they gave him a shot they was gunna let him come home and then retested him found out he was in renal failure...done a couple things of dialysis....he done well for a little while long...no complaining of pain nowhere ever...then his leg started constantly bothering him that was the only place he complained of pain...but where he was always in his wheelchair his mucles was drawing in his leg making it hard to lay straight ya know?...he starts turning yellow again so we know 1 his blood was going down and 2 his liver was messing up again..so off to the dr he goes to have an xray and we find out his liver is totally shut down..his kidneys are failing again...
he stopped eatting maybe a bite everyday of jello or something...and for the first time since this all started he started to vomit and we noticed he was a deeper color of yellow and out of the corner of his eye (which was scary to look at in direct light where they was so yellow and bloodshot) he had some bleeding ..next day his nose starts bleeding (never done that before) and we notice a place on his head ..by now he was hurting so bad cause of his leg and stomach he basically got up and went back to bed each day...the last day he wanted to go to the hospital cause he was in so much discomfort...(and we been though this so many times by now i guess i let myself get lulled into a sense of ok hes going to get some blood maybe have to do dialysis for his kidneys and then hes gunna come home and be ok for a few more weeks) about an hr after they left mom called and i figured she would be telling me that they was keeping him but they was doing a chest xray and he told them to turn him over he was gunna be sick and he just died...they said his potassium got so high it stopped his heart...i have never hurt so much in my life then losing my dad...the hardest days of my life was those last few mths i spent there with him watching him hurt and suffer with this cancer...he didnt have any feelings in his leg or hands and they was always ice cold..and i tell you if i had the choice of bringing him back to the way he was or being without him ...i wouldnt bring him back to that pain and torture for anything...I miss him so much i dont know what to do without him or how to even look at the days ahead to think about upcoming holidays or just going back home to visit now...i know will never be the same without him...just want to say for those of you who are still going through this with your loved ones....love them everday and be thankful for each moment you have I wish i could have another minute with my daddy just to make sure he knows i love him so...I live 3 1/2 hrs from my mom and dad..and married but i couldn't rest here so i went to stay with them a week before thanksgiving i wouldnt trade a day of that time for all the money in this world...
i know this is long ...i just needed to sit down and vent and cry.....you all are in my prayers and thoughts daily......





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