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Hi all....really quickly just wanna say sorry to not be able to read all the posts right now, just have so much going on...hope i can catch up in a few days or so. this week has just been a storm of chaos....so where to even begin?? guess here's a spot as good as any....

as most of you know, started flagyl last week at a 1/4 of a 250mg tab...herxed badly. so i waited till it faded a little, almost a week and then started up the flagyl again on mon, herxed that night. pain was excruiating. new symptoms popping up, lots of abdomen pain and joint swelling all over the place...all from an 1/8 of a 250mg tab. all this week the pain has been so bad, almost making me "crack"...couldn't believe i could hurt any worse than i had been, but guess i could. anyway called dr. c and thankfully he finally gave me a rx for some pain meds, something called tramadol. really seemed to help. somehow god got me through the worst of it and i kept fighting. but dr c is now concerned about my stomach pains and has ordered a lot of blood tests and so forth. checking on various enzyme levels and other stuff I am forgetting about. i am also supposed to be getting tested for my thyroid levels and other hormones too as he is now concerned at the amount of hair i am losing plus the fact that my feet/hands/body seems so cold and my skin is turning yellow on my feet. guess my circulation is a concern too. so now i have to wait and see what the results of that will be sometime next week.

anyway as i had to go to a clinic today here in hastings to get my blood drawn for those tests i had one of the worst panic/anixeity attacks i've had yet on the way there and while i was there....my mom kind of freaked out about it....i was just "lost". felt like such a little kid, didn't know how to find my way around or follow instructions...sitting there in the waiting area was pure h*** as i just wanted to shout at everyone to be quiet. of course i didn't but i just wanted to get out of there that moment and escape to somewhere quiet and dark. even with my sunglasses on and ear plugs in, i still sat there in tears and pain waiting to be called to get my blood drawn. well somehow i made it through it and came home and collapsed in my room.

the only good thing that's happened this week is really scary to me....it's good news - i know this but i am still scared about it. my mom was worried about me of course...whats new. so she called her doc her in town and talked to him about how bad things have been getting for me and how dr c is way down in MO...well he offered to supervise things up here in mn for dr c if that would help. so my moms doc called dr c and here's the good news: i am getting a PIC line next week. dr c authorized an iv treatment for me. i'll be getting rocephin starting wednesday. i have to go have my pre-op appt tomorrow with my doc, dr s here in hastings, to make sure it's a go to get the PIC. if all is okay then tuesday i go in to have to PIC line placed and wednesday a home care nurse is going to come out every day there after for the next 6 weeks to give me my treatments...it's so sad that i can't even handle a 10 minute car ride anymore. it's just so painful now. so the nurse is about the only way my body will be able to handle the treatments....thank god for my mom claling the insurance this week to find out that actually my iv treatments and a home care nurse will be covered...just don't know to what extent yet but at least it's a bit of relief to know that it will be covered somehow some way.

even though this is all good news, i am scared. scared to have it put in, scared of having even worse herxes than i've been having on orals, scared to hope that this will do the trick and be my magic bullet, scared of so much. praying that this will work and maybe i'll be better by christmas...wouldn't that be a miracle.

so that's the news.....and i'm worn out from the anxiety attack and trip to the doc and from typing way too much to let you all in on the good news....so i gotta go for now but will keep you all updated as things progress. keep me in your prayers that all my blood work is ok so that i can still get my PIC next week and that things go as smoothly as they can ok? thanks all.
Dear Romans,

I know you aren't happy but I am. I am hoping that all the bad herxing will become minimal with the IV. I can't emphasize enough how much I got myself worked up over the picc-line when they told me to go to the hospital to have it put in. I was sick all night. I thought it would be in my hand. When the ID's nurse explained it to me I had diarrhea all night long. After having it done I could have kicked myself because it was such a breeze. When they said they would take it out in the ID's office after the liver enzymes went crazy my face got bright red. I thought I would have a stroke. Silly me I just looked the other way and did not even feel it being taken out, honest, when it was totally out I could see it peripherally out of my eye. I didn't believe it because I was looking the other way. To me the worst part was having to be careful when taking a bath because I am not a shower person. I never herxed with it either.

I also did the infusion myself every day and had to go and have bloodwork done and the bandage cleaned once a week. I guess your nurse will do that. It took anywhere from 30 - 40 minutes to go in (the rocephin). I don't know if they are all in a container like mine but it was short and had like a ball in it that contained the antibiotics and they showed me how to tell it was empty. I could just put it on the table in front of me because the ball created the pull (I'm sure that's not the right word) and I didn't have to hang it on a pole like a normal IV. The first day I had to do it by myself with Ronnie having to go to work he probably called me 3 times to make sure I hadn't tried to call him. Don't forget to get the milk thistle at the health food store to keep your liver clean. How I regret not knowing that little piece of info. I might be well by now because samaya and I started fairly close to each other and she is fine.

They will put an elasticized sleeve on it to keep it in place but I would slip one on from the top and one from the bottom and overlap them so I knew they would stay together during bedtime. I even worried about that but it was the lyme that kept me awake not the Picc-line.

I will say a prayer for you to get through this and be relaxed and one for your mom too. I bet she will feel better when this starts. She will feel like you are finally doing something and going through her doctor is great too. It is nice to have somebody close by. Stay calm.

BDFM
I'm kinda fuzzy myself right now but I do want to say how sorry I am that things aren't going well. and I want to wish you luck with the picc line. I'll thinking of ya and opraying for you and everyone here. Besides I'v heard many sucess stories about IV meds! :)
Thank you all for your support, I am feeling a little better about the procedure today now that I've had my pre-op appointment and read some of the posts mentioning piccs here on the board.

According to Dr. S they are going to put me "semi" under for the actual placement of it...so hopefully I won't feel much of the pushing and pulling of the lines going in as they run the line down one of the large viens near my heart. He told me my picc line will be a "hickman" type, placed near my collar bone. Guess it's a lot better than having it in my arm and getting in the way all the time. I remember having that as a kid and I hated it. So maybe this will be a little better this way! :)

BDFM ~ Thanks for the heads up on the milk thistle, I'll be sure to keep taking it as I head into the IV rocephin. Hopefully it will help me out...wish you had known that before you were on your IV...seems quite a shame that no one told you. But hopefully the cats claw will start working for you very soon.

Bothrops and Teedee good luck as well with your "start" as well. Hopefully we can keep each other posted on the improvements that are to come. (fingers crossed) Praying that this works for all of us...what antibiotic will you both be getting if you don't mind me asking? My docs decided to go the rocephin route for me b/c I responded to it with some immediate improvements as a teenager, maybe this will hold true even now.

Sleeper ~ Thanks so much for the wonderful verses...what a comfort they were for me yesterday and as they will continue to be! Means a lot to me and really helped me put this all in perspective a little bit more!

I'm definitely feeling more positive about all this today, maybe this will really work. Thanks again all for your words and encouragement....they certainly help in times like this! I'll try to post after I've had a few treatmetns, maybe I'll have some good news or a "pearl" to report! :)
Although IV abx has been mentioned by my LLMD, I am still on orals. My hat is off to you brave folks for your courage in the face of this illness.

Hand your worries to God - he can handle them - we can't.

Peace and health to all.





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