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Re: To Kim
May 25, 2006
Hi Mickie

Thank you so much for thinking of me and giving me a morale boost. I didn't let everyone know I was feeling down (not really down or depressed but acknowledging how far I have to go) but you picked up on it and put out a call to me. You and the others here are truly good friends. I can count on you guys more than I can the friends I have had for years. This whole lyme journey has been an eye opener and I am thinking about the changes I need to make. Can't do much now but am comtemplating for the near future.

I was thinking about what I was doing last year around this time and compared to now I was doing better, although not good even then. It was when I started to treat that I started going downhill. I know ths is typical for lyme. It's a very slow trek up the lyme hill I know. I wasn't using a cane then but I was having trouble with my balance which has been going on for the last 6 years, just getting progressively worse as time went on. I didn't tell almost anyone that I had been dx with MS (wanted to keep a stiff upper lip, which I now wish I had been more open). Wherever I went (more like staggered) I would think people must think I'm drunk. Most of the time I didn't care but it was always in the back of my mind.

I am seeing some things that are getting better, like bladder issues and short term memory. So very small I wonder if they are there or it's my wishful thinking. Even if it's wishful thinking I'm going with it. It's just the things I want most to get better, like my walking and balance, that I know will take time but I am most anxious for. The set backs I had this past fall did not help matters. I have to learn to ignore what others see as the obvious, as in you don't look like you're getting better (family has said that to me!) and ignore the looks and comments. Maybe I should tell them about my bladder issues and how thats improving. LOL.

I think that one of the lessons I am learning is PATIENCE. I'm not by nature a very patient person. As Dr E says Patience, Positive thinking, and Prayer. I add to that Perserverance and Persistance.

I did go to Dr E yesterday and she changed my meds (didn't want to give up Ketek cause I think that is the one that helps) to Mepron, Zithromax, and the Bicillian shots, which I will be calling on you for advice on. I think I may have an underlying case of Babeosis as with the artemesisin some night sweats started again and now some shortness of breath. Not terribly bad but I have noticed this. I am trying to tune into these things as in the past I have ignored (that stiff upper lip thing again) things and just carried on. I know that is part of the reason I am where I am. I hope these new things will make a difference. Dr E also gave me a rx for lymphatic drainage massage. Not to many places do this and the one that will take my insurance is in Howell. So it will be out to Howell 3x week for a month. I don't start for 2 weeks but I am curious to learn more about this.

Don't worry I am not giving up. It takes alot to discourage me. As my husband has said "they don't know who they are dealing with". LOL. Meaning me. Whether it's a bank, or vendor or whoever has given us a no that I don't agree with. I could tell you stories. This lyme doesn't know who it is dealing with and I will keep fighting.

Thank you for picking me up and telling me to get back in the game.


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