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Hello my friends.

I miss you all so much.

This past January was my 3 yr anniversary with my LLMD. I've been taking massive doses of antibiotics for 3 years in addition to many different supplements and alternative treatments.

I feel 50-60% better than I did.

I can know commute to and from a job. I can run errands at the drop of a hat. I can sleep for 8 hours, wake up, shower and dress, apply make-up and do my hair and get my butt to work by 9am.

I can handle parenting my 2 teenagers.

I can make phone calls and chat with people.

I can talk fast and think fast and on a good day, I can walk fast.

With treatment and God's grace I am so much better than I was 3 years ago when I felt like death.

I saw Dr E tonight. She was so happy to see me! I was showered and dressed from work, wearing make up and jewlery and lipstick. She usually sees me after not having showered for days wearing my dad's hand-me-down sweatpants and looking like something the cat dragged in.

She was so happy to hear that I am able to handle a job where I drive to and from an office each day. I go to bed at night usually before 11pm and I wake up around 7am or 7:30am.

I actually get to work on time each day. It's a miracle.

I swear it's a miracle from God.

I'm to stay on the Levaquin and the Doxy and the Xanax and Lunesta to help me sleep. I still take an antidepressant, Effexor, to help my mood.

I can do chores when I come from work and even cook dinner sometimes. What a change from when I could nothing!

I remember the first time I felt well enough to get out of bed and do the dishes. wow. That was such an accomplishment for me.

And here I am, walking the halls of corporate America and fitting in.

I am exhausted though - always looking forward to the weekend so I can sleep at will. Last saturday I just reclined on the couch, smiling and saying to myself "I'm not at work".

My eyes are still a major problem with the oscillopsia - a side effect of my complete loss of balance. I will get therapy to try to correct this, but not today. I'm too tired.

Here's the weird news ... Dr E doesn't want to see me for 2 months. whoa. I've been seeing this woman every 2-4 weeks for 3 years and it feels strange to hear her say that she wants to see me in two months.

So ... is this my end? Am I as good as I'm going to get? I don't know.

I still Herx regularly on the Levaquin: rash comes back in full itchy red force, fever, burning eyeballs, crankiness and aches and pains about once a month. I hope it continues so I know I'm still killing Lyme and Bartonella.

I know I jumped all over the place with this post - I'm just so excited about my job, being able to handle it and walk from my truck to my office and not search for words and remember things for more than 5 seconds.

I hope I'm on the last leg of my recovery. On the other hand I'm still no where near what I used to be. How do I reconcile this?

Peace and health to all,

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