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Sexual Health - Men Message Board

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The short version:

I get extremely premature ejaculation, less than a minute. I can't stand the top of the head of the penis to be rubbed. And I have to pee often (maybe every 30 minutes) during foreplay.

The full version:

Sorry this is a little long but I want to mention all the information that might help. I'm a 27-year-old heterosexual male, circumcised. My body is very frustrating. Some things are annoying, but other things are just strange.

What happens:

The first thing is premature ejaculation, and it's pretty bad. If she uses her hand, I'll last maybe a minute. If she uses anything else it's a lot shorter. I've read that to get better, you have to get close to orgasm, stop until the feeling goes away, then start again, and repeat many times. I've always done that with my girlfriends. It never gets better. I even have this problem when masturbating.

I don't know if my experience with premature ejaculation is like other guys, but this is what happens. When the girl (or I) first start stimulating my penis, it doesn't feel any better than, say, a french kiss. It's nice, but not that nice. Then after a little bit, a new feeling starts to develop that actually feels really good and gives me a drive to continue. But once I get that I have about 5 seconds before I have to stop, so I never really get to enjoy it very much. Frustrating.

Next, I can't stand the top of the head of the penis to be rubbed (the part that faces me when it is erect, up to the urethra). It gives me this weird too-sensitive, tickly feeling that makes me pull away. In the past, I tried working with it to see if maybe I just needed to push past that initial tickle. This gets weird. In the shower I tried just rubbing that spot vigorously without stopping. It started out very uncomfortable, then changed to a confusing feeling, then everything tightened up like an orgasm was building up, and then it made me pee. I didn't even think you could pee with an erection, but a stream of yellow liquid came out and it smelled like pee. And there was no orgasm.

The next thing is having to pee during foreplay. A lot of times when we are kissing/feeling/etc., I'll get the urge, and will get up and go pee. This will happen maybe every half hour, so sometimes twice before we're done. This is a lot more often than other times of the day. But if I don't go to the bathroom, my senses seem to get confused down there and I end up ejaculating even easier than usual. Maybe this relates to the last paragraph somehow.

Another thing that might relate the last two paragraphs is that whenever the head of my penis is touched (while aroused) it tenses up, like doing kegels. I try to relax it, but it just tenses up anyway. I'm not sure if this happens to other guys.

Things that maybe were causes:

I was a really late bloomer. In high school I had the body of an 11-year-old. During that time I started obsessing with my inability to orgasm. It started to be the thing that I wanted most in the world. Around age 15 my parents thought there was a problem and took me to the doctor. The doctor gave me low-dose testosterone shots for a few months and that kicked me into puberty. I had my first orgasm when I was 16. I wonder now if having that obsession for those years screwed me up.

Trying not to make this any longer, I'll just say there were other things in my childhood that made sex probably too important to me, but also things that made me feel very guilty about sexuality.

So that's everything. Sorry it was so long. Now I'd like to ask: is any of this normal? Is there a way to fix any of it?

Thanks for reading.

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