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Sexual Health - Men Message Board

Sexual Health - Men Board Index

Hey guys,

I just turned 19 years old and have been struggling with a new problem for a few months. About 3 months ago, me and my GF (long distance) were in the same place for a week and had a lot of sex. I've always had a really healthy erectile pattern and I've never had a problem with sex, and this week was no exception. However, we had been fighting alot about a girl who I had been with before our relationship and she had been being rather unreasonable about this for a long time, and during the last day of this week we had together, I just lost my erection.

I freaked out a little bit, and we parted ways the next day. Anyways, EVER SINCE THEN - I haven't been able to maintain an erection. Masturbation included. I also feel like my erections aren't nearly as firm as they used to be and I feel like I have to keep touching myself/stimulating myself to keep it up.

Also, things that used to get me rock hard don't get me hard at all anymore. I used to be able to see a sexual image and instantly be rock hard and now that's gone. Morning erections are also either weak or gone. Some people tell me that I'm just "getting older" and I would be willing to accept this if all of these changes didn't happen LITERALLY OVERNIGHT. I'm back with my girlfriend for the summer again, and I'm having tons of erection problems still. I can have adequate sex with her but it's nothing like it used to be because I constantly feel like I might be getting soft. Also, I'm INTENSELY attracted to her so this is not the issue (also masturbation yields the same results).

During oral sex, I don't really have any problems however. And there was one time a few nights ago where we didn't have sex but I managed to have a full erection through about 20 minutes of foreplay without it going down.

I went to a urologist and he said it seems like textbook anxiety, but I don't understand - Can anxiety about my erections actually reduce my spontaneous erections?! Why do arousing things not get me hard anymore?

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac and my current fear is some kind of autonomic disregulation. Is this how ED as a result of autonomic problems presents (ex. so suddenly?)

This is kind of urgent because I feel myself withdrawing sexually because I'm afraid of personal failure. I'm even scared to make out because it just reminds me that I used to get hard kissing a girl and suddenly that was taken away. Also my girlfriend is a little bit demanding, which is fine, but I can't exactly take like a "break" from sex or hooking up without disappointing her.

Hello shawnjz,
As an anxiety sufferer myself. Please take a moment and try to read the post you've just written from a third party perspective. Clearly fear, anxiety and doubt are the main issues i see. Imagine how hard it is to perform or enjoy any sexual activity when when we have these issues in the back of our minds.
When i was ws told i had anxiety i thought, what???? But i dont feel anxious or worried. If your ticking any of the following boxes - Worry, stressing, hypochondriac, googling every ailment convinced you've got cancer, constant fear or annoyance that something is wrong etc... Your suffering from some form of anxiety! Until you address this problem, the other will never fix itself.

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