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Mental Health Message Board

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Hello.I'm new here,and I hope someone will be able to shed light on what's going on with me.From my early childhood I've had a dependancy upon others,now looking back,it was mainly becouse I was just unable to think properly so I just went with whatever was offered to me.When I say I can't think I really mean it,my brain is blank,especially now,that things are expected from me.I'm 23 years old with an inability to think criticly,form my own oppinions,remember given information.I spend the majority of my time reading articles about what this could be,but I'm at a loss of what's going on - mainly becouse when I read something it's automaticly forgotten.Seems that nothing goes into my head.I have a let's say automatic way of speaking,just saying stuff other people want to hear,and as to not embaress myself if I revealed my true way of thinking - or lack there of - logicless,going around in circles,I think of one scentence,and the rest is just blocked,as no information comes into my head.That is the main problem I face right now,as with this thinking pattern I have - my true thinking pattern I would end up homeless.I rely on intuition and feelings to dictate my life,becouse when I try to think,remember information,anything of the sort,it's nearly impossible.I've had strong convulsions as a child - could this have anything to do with it ? This lack of thought and inability to remember information and analyse has left me horrified - I get up with severe fear in the morning,I go through the day on automatic - it's hell.Since my inability to think,I have been getting strong delusions for the past five years that just alternate between each other and I can't will them away.I can't imagine a future for myself,working anywhere as it requires some form of thought,the lack of which makes it impossible.I've taken antipsychotic medications for the past five years,antidepressants - nothing works,and nothing gets me to be able to think clearly - or in any way.My question would be,what could this be,and is there a way that I can overcome it.
Thanks to everyone in advance.

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