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Hi. First, Im sorry to hear youre feeling this way, but dont be too hard on yourself. A lot of teens are unhappy about a lot of things. I know this doesnt help and Im definitely not trying to minimize what youre feeling because I know its hard. I can really relate to what youre feeling. As a teen, I was also very unhappy even though I had tons of friends. I could be in a crowd of friends and still feel alone. A lot of it came from the fact that my parents were emotionally neglectful and distant so I never got any love from them. As a teen, the only interaction I had with them was either nothing, or them being overly hard on me and making me feel like a disappointment. Anyways, it sounds like youre at least aware of some of your feelings, which is great, and youre trying to get help with some of these things. For me, I turned to drugs and alcohol to help me deal with it and that obviously wasnt the right answer, especially since I became an alcoholic (well, i was probably born that way, but thats another discussion :p ).

As far as your therapist, sometimes you need to keep trying before you find someone you click with. It took me 3 tries before I found someone I liked and even then, I outgrew what she could help me with and Im now on my 4th one. As far as meds, Im sorry to hear you dont want to try them because they really could help. This "numb" feeling you have sounds like mild depression or dysthymia, which is kind of a low grade underlying depression (look it up and see if you can relate to the symptoms). Meds can help with that a lot.

As far as opening up and trusting them, again, you need to find one you click with. You can trust them though. Theyre bound by laws that dont let them discuss anything in your sessions outside of those sessions without your consent. I dont think they can discuss things with your stepfather without your consent either, unless you admit to wanting to harm yourself or others. They can actually lose their license to practice if they violate these rules. Im not positive about this since youre under 18, but you can discuss it with them to find out for sure. If youre worried about opening up and telling them things about yourself because youre embarassed or think they wont understand, you dont need to worry about that. Believe me, theyve pretty much heard it all and you shouldnt be uncomfortable or embarassed discussing ANYTHING with them.

Im now 34 and its just over the last few years that Ive become comfortable staying home alone on a Friday night if I want to. Yes, I kind of felt like a loser staying home by myself, but I realized, if thats what I want to do, whats wrong with that. Sometimes we just need a night to ourselves. If it gets to the point youre isolating and purposely spending time alone to avoid people, then thats a problem.

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