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Mental Health Message Board


Mental Health Board Index


Hi everybody, i'm new here at the healthboards.

Let me start off by saying that so far what i've been reading on the boards, its been really good :).

Anyway, here goes my story.

I'm 28 years old. I haven't been diagnose with any mental disorder or anything like that but lately i've been feeling really really bad about myself, i could sense something may be wrong with me.

This all started to happen like a year ago, i started to lack on everything, with my job, with my responsibilities, with own myself! I started to do things i wouldn't normally do like steal from my loved ones, lie to them constantly, not keeping up with my work, not keeping up with the bills, not keeping up on pretty much everything. I've been feeling depressed off and on but never like this before. I used to get depressed and get over it and be okay, but lately when i get depressed it bogs me down and it doesn't let me do what i have to do. Its like when i get up i feel like not doing anything and when i talk to my family about things and i can't seem to make sense and i freeze up and don't say anything or i say "i don't know" and blank out. My family constantly tells me that i'm lazy and that i don't wanna do anything but that's not the case. I also got an anger problem. Like for instance, when someone says things i don't wanna hear i get mad and walk off and start to slap doors, throw things around. I'm also very overly sensitive, like i cry for no reason. A few months back i started to act really weird and not being myself. Right now I feel so empty inside that i don't know what to do anymore, i just wanna die! I know i've done wrong in the past and that i can't right my wrongs but i wanna change and its really hard for me to deal with these things. That's why i'm seeking help! A few months ago my family started to see some changes in me and said that i needed help but of course me being hardheaded as i am, i didn't listen. I thought they were joking or something and i used to say, i'm okay i don't need no help. But now that i'm realizing that something may be wrong with me now my family don't wanna believe me, they now say there's nothing wrong with u, u just lazy and don't wanna do anything and that gets me angry and upset cuz now that i'm admitting they don't wanna hear me. Lately i'm not able to sleep, i get little to no sleep at all cuz i'm constantly worrying about things and having these bad thoughts in mind. Also i've lost my appetite and i'm not able to eat just very little bit.

But see, i don't understand why i feel this way. Is like i turned into someone else. I feel alone inside and people don't seem to know what's going on with me. I try to explain it to my family but they think i'm making things up, but i'm not. And everytime i'm about to explain something it turns into a big argument, which i hate because it triggers my anger. I wish i knew what to do but i'm losing my hope. I don't have faith in myself, i'm constantly hating on my own self, i say things like, i'm no good and wanna do kill myself but i don't cuz i know its wrong and that's not going to solve anything plus, not only am i hurting myself but i'm hurting the ones i love.

I really don't know where to post this so that's why i posted under Mental Health!

Here's some symptoms that i get:

~ lost of appetite
~ feel withdrawn
~ burst into tears or have outburst of anger
~ poor hygine
~ when happy i get too excited or when sad i get very depressed
~ very quiet
~ not able to concentrate or focus on things
~ worries alot, gets nervous
~ not able to sleep or sleep too much
~ problems with coping with daily problems or activities
~ no motivation
~ difficult making sense with words
~ hear or see things but rarely
~ trouble communicating with people

Sorry for the long post but i needed to tell someone about my problems.

Any advice will be helpful.

Thanks in advance,
prettyflower :cool:





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