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I used to hallucinate until I was put on Risperdal and Seroquel...well, I'm hallucinating now because I'm off my meds but that's a whole nother story.

1. What kind of things are they? noise/objects etc...How frequent?
I see a shadow when I hallucinate. Now, I have nightmares about the same shadow since I was a little girl but didn't actually start hallucinating about it til I got depressed. It would just walk around the apartment and I'd just watch it in fright. I've also seen birds flying around rooms and things like that. I've only had a touch hallucination one time. I was home alone and laying on the couch and felt someone rubbing my hair. It scared the mess out of me. I slowly turned around and noone was there but, as you could imagine, I couldn't sleep after that. I also hear voices..usually calling my name and telling me to cut/hurt myself.

2. Do they scare you? What else do you feel about them?
At first they scared me. I kind of got used to it after awhile. It's strange though because when I was first put on Risperdal and the voices stopped, I kind of missed them. I guess because they had been with me for awhile. Everything was silent and that was actually scarier to me then actually hearing the voices.

3. Have you been diagnosed with a condition 'causing' them? If so, what is this?
I've been diagnosed with a few things. I have major depression with psychotic features, bulimia/anorexia, self injury, borderline personality disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder.

4. Are you on medication for them? Does it help much?
Well, I was originally put on Zyprexa when I first got sick and was put in the hospital. They told me I was schizophrenic. The zyprexa didn't do anything but put me to sleep. When I left the hospital and went into therapy, I was put on Risperdal and Seroquel which have helped greatly. But, I've been booted from therapy because I'm having transportation problems so I no longer have a therapist or psychiatrist and they didn't even see that I found a way to continue to get my meds. So, I've been off my medication for a few months now and the hallucinations, hearing voices, and depression are all back.

5. Did they get progressively worse over time?
From the time I first started hallucinating to the time I was put on Risperdal and Seroquel..yeah...they got really worse. I was told by my previous therapist that if you're off your medication for long they come back worse then they were before.


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