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[QUOTE=strongernow]First talk more about the imagined stuff. Are these hallucinations? Or purely deep and detailed day dreams? Are they positive and cheerful day dreams? Or eerie and creepy stuff? Because if it eerie adn creepy and bad then you'd want to try and modify your day dreams and see yourself completing tasks and goals that you need to in your life. So change it in a way so that you are associating with people that are positive and nice and loving, and change it so that you are comforted in your envirnment in a safe and healthy way. Imagine yourself doing great at your job and getting along with your boss and coworkers and meeting all the goals. Keep your day dreams as realistic and overly positive as possible. Remember realistic doesn't have to be bad or negative. Some psychologists believe if you will use your imaginations to imagine a better and realistic life for yourself then it can happen in real life. But never imagine anything that makes you feel worse, enraged, or more sick ok. Keep it safe.

But if they are halluncinations. You need to get an interview with a Board Certified Psychiatrist - once your insurance allows for that to happen. And see if the BCP will give you anti-psychotic or neuroleptic medications and a diagnosis.

I know there are some online stores that have great deals on Dr. Phil's audiobooks on tape. I got it for one penny plus shipping. So maybe you could search online for that.

Also your local library could have self help audiobooks and books that could help you. Libraries usually never charge a fee so this could be good for you. I checked out a CD called Creative Visualization which has actually been better than anything I went threw in counseling.

Keep me updated.[/QUOTE]

No. The only time I've ever hallucinated was when I smoked too much weed, or did stupid things with drugs...like twice in my entire life.

I don't hallucinate. It's just intense, deep day dreams.....

Hard to admit this part, but it's been so long without a real woman I imagine (not hallucinate) one when I lay in bad and clutch on to my pillows and stuff as if it were her.

It's rarely ever creepy or eerie. Usually my daydreams consist of good stuff that doesn't exist, or is next to impossible to get.

I'm a guitarist, and I constantly imagine myself as the greatest musician in the world playing in front of 1000s of people...but I'm not really that great yet in real life.

But it seems I'm lost in these dreams of this imagine "girl" and this impossible goal all the time and I'm forgetting to live.

I don't really know how to make them realistic, because while they are positive and usually make me happy when I'm "in" them, they are FAR from realistic.

I bought all three of those books a few min. ago by the way, but they will take a while to get here.

I'm more concerned about the envisioned "woman" that I day dream about all the time. It seems when I actually do find someone interested in me I begin to push them away subconsciously and start acting melo-dramatic and then cling and get suffocating when they start pulling away...and it seems I'm trying to make the real woman become the woman I've imagined....which is not realistic.

Do I continue to go with the flow of this unrealistic dream of this woman that I "clutch" to when I'm in bed, or do I tell her to go away and keep trying to fight the urge to let that dream consume me?

I mean until I can find a doctor/therapist that is.

It makes me feel calm when I dream about it, but when I realize what I'm doing I get self conscious and really depressed because "she isn't real".

It's not even just that though. I constantly day dream about this girl I recently broke it off with coming back to me, saying she wants me back, and it's very unrealistic I think too. This also sends me deeper into depression.

The other dreams about being the greatest guitarist and stuff I don't see as quite as bad because they ultimately drive me to keep playing music. It frustrates me more sometimes that I don't sound like my idols yet and dream alot about sounding that good and singing their songs, not mine. But ultimately I should be a better musician for it.





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