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I really need help. This is take me over. I can't stop it...


Lets start off with it cut and dry. A while ago I told myself I was going to get back on a good track and do better in life. I told myself if I got a Girlfriend, that I knew was the one I'd change. No questions asked. Well A girl did turn up in my life. Not kidding. She is diffrent then anyone else I've dated. We've gone further than we've ever gone with anyone else. Everything here is perfect. We know we won't leave eachother now. No questions asked, unless it's reasonable.

Well, When I told myself I'd change, I didn't. I did for the first week or so, But then I got over track. I might add I used to pray about this alot. I'd say that I'll do better just help me through, I know I can do better. But I haven't. I'm trying as hard as I can. I said that I won't do certain things.

This is where paranoid comes in. When I say I won;t do a certain thing, and I DO do IT, It seems like it coming around kicking me every time! Uhh I hate IT! And everytime I don't do something I shouldn't do it's fine. Even if it's alone between myself! It feels like something is punishing me. I can't take it. It makes me reflect this on myself, I get mad and depressed and I think about dropping everything I've wanted. I don't want that. Things are getting better, I just want to know if this is any kind of illness or anything. Bear with me here becuase you might be able to help.

It seems like I'm not forcing myself enough, and if I don't force myself enough, I get a punishment, I hate it so much. It's taking me over. Help me someone if you only knew...I'm in dire need.

Please Reply I really need help.
Seems to me that depending on the situations in our life at any given time we can find that we are going through something that is nearly unbearable. we might understand that others seem to sail right through such problems, but knowing this is little comfort. Then if were unlucky we get nailed with something so horrible that it goes beyond anything we could imagine then we wish that the original problem is all we had to worry about because this new issue is so much worse than the other one was. and we might even beg God to take this much more severe situation away and we won't complain about the other one. The point is is that it's all about mind set and putting things into perspective. There are people here that wish they had your troubles rather than their own. It really helps to think on the level that there are millions of people out there that are suffering unimaginable problems and they would certainly give anything to trade places with you. I am not be-littling your problem. I know it's got you pretty freaked out, but try to think that in reality this is just part of the struggles of life that most people have to deal with at one time or another, and being greatful that this is all your suffering should be a relief. Thank God you don't have an incurable disease your dying from. Thank God your not in prison- falsely accused of a crime you didn't commit. Count your blessings and if you feel down think about how fortunate you really are and that things could be much worse. This outlook alone could help you glide through this with ease.
[QUOTE=Natja Kristy;2861057]Seems to me that depending on the situations in our life at any given time we can find that we are going through something that is nearly unbearable. we might understand that others seem to sail right through such problems, but knowing this is little comfort. Then if were unlucky we get nailed with something so horrible that it goes beyond anything we could imagine then we wish that the original problem is all we had to worry about because this new issue is so much worse than the other one was. and we might even beg God to take this much more severe situation away and we won't complain about the other one. The point is is that it's all about mind set and putting things into perspective. There are people here that wish they had your troubles rather than their own. It really helps to think on the level that there are millions of people out there that are suffering unimaginable problems and they would certainly give anything to trade places with you. I am not be-littling your problem. I know it's got you pretty freaked out, but try to think that in reality this is just part of the struggles of life that most people have to deal with at one time or another, and being greatful that this is all your suffering should be a relief. Thank God you don't have an incurable disease your dying from. Thank God your not in prison- falsely accused of a crime you didn't commit. Count your blessings and if you feel down think about how fortunate you really are and that things could be much worse. This outlook alone could help you glide through this with ease.[/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][/FONT][SIZE="4"][/SIZE][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"][/COLOR] While I understand the essence of what you are saying and understand the intent. In some ways I do disagree with it because for some trying to say hey you got it lucky doesn't work. In the end, you feel more depressed or rather inwardly angry because you getting down about things. I know I am not quite saying it right. I know some when severly depressed pray for a cancer that will kill them. Later when the moment or episode has passed they change their mind and are greatful. Yes, there are things that happen to people in the world that are horrible. Things that make a lot of us cringe or have nightmares. It is not saying we are unthankful for what blessings we have. No, not by any means at all but hoping that somehow we can find the strength and courage to meet the challenges. I know as someone who has a chemical imbalance known as Bipolar there are days that down is like describing a tornado as a bit of wind. I know what works for me during that time might not work for someone else. I tell myself this too shall pass as often as possible. In the end, it does pass it just takes time. For me reminding myself that someone out there is going through something far worse just makes me feel guilty, petty, and a few other terms I won't repeat. But I do think if you focus day in and day out on just the bad things then that's all in life you will see. In some ways, it seemed you were trying to say that very thing just in a different way. So the thought processes need changing not so much the view or portrait the particular artist paints. It is a never ending battle that a lot of us fight daily. Each of us has to do it in the way that works best for us.

Emerald
Sure I understand your thoughts here and I agree. Perhaps my intent in some ways wasn't what some might think. I myself have suffered some severe issues and do now. When I was younger I experienced things that I thought were more than I could take. Little did I know I had no idea just how lucky I was in retrospect to what I experience now in my suffering. I would give anything if I knew what I know now and still had the opportunity to turn back time and only suffer the things I did then. I would pretty much hardly be bothered by those things as I was then. So the idea is to not really focusing on negative things at all, but reminding ourselves that in many ways things are not as bad as they might seem, and if we take a minute to think about how bad things could be we realize our present situation is not as bad as we really think it is. Taking a minute to try to see all the ways we are fortunate gives us hope, then perhaps we can feel greatful for what we do have. For example, let's say you have bypolar, yet you have a decent home, food in your mouth, loved ones that care for you, doctors who are trying to help you, even joyful memories of the past. Those thigns in and of themselves are not much comfort when one is suffering. But try to imagine having bypolar and living in india where there is no help. little food or water, and dealing with the disorder and trying to find a way to stay alive- hoping for the things many of us take for granted, like those things which sustain life- like food and water. Maybe it isn't good to dwell on such things, but at the same time it reminds us of how much we do have to be greatful for because things could be far worse. I know in moments of thought like those I feel like I can take a deep breath and say to myself "You know, your lucky Natja. You think you've got it bad? uh, uh- In many ways your so very fortunate". Those thoughts give me courage to keep going. Those thoughts give me hope. Those thoughts that one might consider negative can truly provide the gateway to a more positive attitude. And sometimes saying to your self "I live in a place where I can get help. I am fed and I have a roof over my head. I have opportunities that many do not have. I'm alive, and I don't have so many of the worries that many other people less fortunate do have. I have much more of a real chance to overcome my problems than many people do." It can be a valuable tool to help us push forward. It's not about dwelling on the suffering of others or the world, but rather it's about waking your self up and seeing things as they really are and using the positives in that realization to give us strength and hope. And then it only helps us become stronger, and that is always positive. Knowing that our problem can seem devastating, we always remember that there is so much more misfortune out there we don't have to suffer through. Constant positive thinking is of course the ultimate goal, but it needs to be balanced with reality, so that when things don't work out the way we had hoped, we have a much more realistic outlook and are less likely to be dissapointed. It gives us the courage to soldier on through to victory.
I think the original poster is being too hard on himself, thinking he should be able to manage life better and feeling guilty because he thinks he's failing. But that's just part of the human condition, as so many things in life are uncontrollable and to some extent we just have to learn to go with the flow, roll with the punches. I think the suggestion to let time pass is a good one, as is the suggestion to try looking at problems from a different perspective. Our feelings at any specific moment are not necessarily the feelings we'll have tomorrow or next week or in a month's time. Sometimes it's just a matter of going on, in the knowledge that feelings don't usually stay stuck, that eventually things will change and we'll be on a more even keel and able to appreciate the good things in our life again.





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