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Mental Health Message Board

Mental Health Board Index

Hi, I'm 23 YO and been having some problems which I don't know where they belong so may be this is the place. I'm really against talking my problems because I feel that if there is an answer then it hides within me. But hiding them is no good 'cause is getting me a lil bit worried so here some symptoms and I'd like to here your opinion.

-First of all I have zero suicide thoughts, in exchange of those I have disappear ones. Not of me, of everyone. Most of the time I want everyone to disappear, humanity. That is one of the reasons for making myself lonelier everyday.
-After some events I stopped talking with people for a year? crossing some words but that's it. The thing is that I've started talking like a 5 yo kid to my mom. I try to stop but I can't. When hearing a phrase I start repeating it like crazy, tv ad "this mop is fantastic" and I'll keep saying it at leat 10 times. The real problem resides that I went back to college and when I talk to people I have problems, not of being able but speech ones. Formulating a sentence is difficult and saying it is more. Sometimes I say the same word twice and stop the conversation and talk to myself questioning why I made that mistake.
-I have problems walking in public, it is not fear. I seriously start missing steps and rarely but it happens my view goes crazy. I have to hold myself against a wall. That never happens when I'm alone, even made some run tests on tight paths where balance was required and I didn't fell once.
-People can't touch me. If I feel someone touching me this weird feeling comes to me, kind of cold.
-Bad mood, the biggest problem. It means that I'm a jerk to people without noticing it. Also joy and happiness angers me, people are so happy outside that it kind of pisses me off. Makes me treat them bad.
-Low attention span.
-Paranoic, I feel there is a religion conspiracy but I must not think about it, I know it is just me being paranoic.
-0 sex desires, not even masturbation. I was confused so went on a sex spree with a woman, man and tv. After that I have null desire of anything sexual.
- No desires. I wish for nothing. This lack of desires tires me, I search for a hobby and try a lot of stuff but it gives me nothing in exchange.
-Second personality to protect me from this world. I can't be how I am with people so I put a second personality to protect me. It doesn't work all the time but I do this uncounciously.
-Memory loss, kind of blocking a lot of memories, a lot of people. Not opening my memory to people by not looking or not focusing at them when talking to them so my memory won't register their face. Blocking some memories to block more people.

I had none of those problems let's say 5 years ago.

More than that I really don't know how to feel, maybe emptiness. If someone has an opinion, an answer or something it would be appreciated, thanks in advance.

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