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I am a mother of 2 under 4 in her early 30s. I am a very angry person. I yell at my kids all the time. I have tried so hard to stop. The more I try and stop the more it all just erupts by the end of the day. I have always been an impatient person. But ever since my second came along I am extremely irritable all the time. Everything annoys me. Especially sounds. I find myself overwhelmed and stressed over every little thing. I can't find any motivation. I am tired all the time. I have almost daily headaches. I love my children...I love my husband. I should be a very happy person. Why am I so angry and sad? I don't think I am depressed. I don't want to hurt myself. I do have low moments. But isn't to an extreme. I want to be a better mother so badly. Every night I go to bed and say tomorrow I will not yell and be happy. Never happens. I feel so awful about myself. What is wrong with me? Where can I go for help?
Hello,

If I were you, I'd see a tdoc (therapist) so you can talk out your problems and pinpoint exactly what causes your anger.

I have bipolar disorder which causes me to have extreme mood swings from mania, high energy levels and restlessness to depression and irritability. I've found therapy to be of tremendous help in keeping me grounded, maintaining some degree of control over my emotions and discussing what triggers my irritability.

You might also consider seeing a pdoc (psychiatrist) to see if he/she can prescribe an antidepressant which could keep your anger in check and help you feel better.

By the way, if you're feeling angry, sad and tired, those are all symptoms of major depressive disorder (mdd).

There's also a possibility that you could have bipolar (provided that you also experience symptoms of mania: high energy levels, restlessness, extreme happiness).

Good luck.
[QUOTE=w2bh09;3804588]Everything annoys me. Especially sounds. I find myself overwhelmed and stressed over every little thing. I can't find any motivation. I am tired all the time. I have almost daily headaches. I love my children...I love my husband. I should be a very happy person. Why am I so angry and sad?[/QUOTE]

Wow, that's a textbook description of depression. :(

You don't have to live like this - if you had a giant tic sucking the life out of you you'd go to a doctor and have it removed immediately - [B]depression is a parasite[/B], it's stealing your life from you, go to a psychiatrist or a prescribing therapist and get it "removed"! Talk therapy or meds or both, whatever you need. You'll be happy again, I promise.

This webpage on Women and Depression has info and how/where to get help info: [url]http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-what-every-woman-should-know/summary.shtml[/url]

PS: You may want to get your thyroid levels checked first. Thyroid disorders often strike after pregnancy, called Postpartum Thyroiditis, and if left untreated they can cause irritable depression.
[QUOTE=w2bh09;3804588]I am a mother of 2 under 4 in her early 30s. I am a very angry person. I yell at my kids all the time. I have tried so hard to stop. The more I try and stop the more it all just erupts by the end of the day. I have always been an impatient person. But ever since my second came along I am extremely irritable all the time. Everything annoys me. Especially sounds. I find myself overwhelmed and stressed over every little thing. I can't find any motivation. I am tired all the time. I have almost daily headaches. I love my children...I love my husband. I should be a very happy person. Why am I so angry and sad? I don't think I am depressed. I don't want to hurt myself. I do have low moments. But isn't to an extreme. I want to be a better mother so badly. Every night I go to bed and say tomorrow I will not yell and be happy. Never happens. I feel so awful about myself. What is wrong with me? Where can I go for help?[/QUOTE]

Hi I'm new to the board and I just read your post and I can relate. Are you an at home mom or do you work? If you spend every waking moment with your children with very few moments of solitude that maybe part of the problem. Are you seeing a doctor or taking meds at the moment? I have a sixteen year old daughter and soon to be nine year old twin boys and I am at home and have been at home with all of them since birth. Here's just a guess on my part. When I hit my thirties, like some other women, I started to feel as if I was losing the individual parts of me that made me the woman I was deep inside. In other words, I started getting angry about being only known as my son's mother, my husband's wife, and the nice lady next door. I wanted to be known as Beth the woman who is intelligent, attractive, funny, and enjoying to be around. Not just someone's maid, chef, taxi driver, and nurse, all the time. Don't get me wrong I didn't want to give up being a mother/wife by any means, I just by that time in my life lost my identity and I truly resented that and it angered me. I mean honestly, gravity took a hold of my body and dragged it to the ground, as much as I loved breastfeeding my sons, I was left deflated and unwomanly, my anxieties I had all my life seemed too have tripled during that time because my self confidence was zero. I'm still battling these things but to solve some of them and to maybe help you, is to first off get some time for yourself. I mean some much needed alone time, and don't let yourself feel guilty about it. Your children will only benefit from a anger free refreshed Mom. Perhaps add a little exercise to your life, nothing too taxing just refreshing. Then start working at looking at yourself from the inside out. How do you feel, what can you do to make yourself happy and fulfilled even if it is just for 15 minutes a day. And then you work on your relationship with your husband. You may still need a boost with some meds which many woman do, me included, but hey this may help, let me know. I'm here to talk if you need to any time. ;)
I am home alone with my kids. And my husband doesn't get home till at least 7pm. So it is a long day. I do go and work out as much as I can during the week as my escape. But it hasn't helped really. I still am so highly irritated, angry and sad. I do feel like I am not sure who I am anymore. Other than a mom. I have yet to go see my doctor. Just can't find the time. What types of meds might they put me on? That makes me a little scared. But if it could help me be more relaxed and less angry...I can't even imagine how wonderful that would be.
Oh my goodness... reading your post was surreal. It was like *I* was posting it!

You are definately not alone. I am going thru the same thing. I was never a grouchy person before, but I feel that since my 2 kids were born, I've changed. Especially in the last few years, I feel like I am angry and irritated with my family. All the time. And I don't know why.

Every night I go to bed sad and angry with myself as I feel like I've yelled at my kids and snapped at my husband, snapped at my customers (my husband and I own our own business). I feel like such a bad mom, bad wife, bad person. The worst of it is that I feel like I can't really even control it.

After snapping at my poor daughter last night before dinner, I just went and took a shower and went to bed. I decided then that I probably need to go and seek some professional help.

Like you, I love my children, love my husband, we have a lovely home, family nearby, pets we love, a business of our own....... so why the heck do I feel so angry and irritated and lack any kind of motivation, etc. Everything seems to be an effort.

I do not have any feelings of suicide or anything like that. And no, I don't have "manic" feelings either. Just angry, annoyed, irritated, tired all the time, no energy, headaches.

I remeber starting to feel inklings of this when I turned 30, but I had a newborn baby and the demands of being a 1st-time mom had to take lead. Another child followed 3 years later. I just turned 40 earlier this year and it really hit me hard. I also had a medical scare this year as well.

Let's keep each other posted with what we are doing to help ourselves out of this... funk... for lack of a better word.

Aloha,
*Luana*
[QUOTE=w2bh09;3809249]I am home alone with my kids. And my husband doesn't get home till at least 7pm. So it is a long day. I do go and work out as much as I can during the week as my escape. But it hasn't helped really. I still am so highly irritated, angry and sad. I do feel like I am not sure who I am anymore. Other than a mom. I have yet to go see my doctor. Just can't find the time. What types of meds might they put me on? That makes me a little scared. But if it could help me be more relaxed and less angry...I can't even imagine how wonderful that would be.[/QUOTE]


Wow, I think you are finding there are a lot of people like you out there. I can definitely relate to the "identity" issue as well. I love my kids and I love my husband very much, don't get me wrong. My thing is, I married my first husband way too young and found out the hard way he was an abusive drug addict. Adding two children to the equasion and 9 long years I didn't even know who I was. By the grace of God, I stepped away from that situation and saved my life and my kids'. I was alone for quite a few years doing it "on my own". I was very angry, yelled A LOT, cried A LOT, and would lock myself in the bedroom sometimes because that seemed my only way out. I felt so horrible all of the time because I couldn't laugh anymore. I hated waking up. Now my issues may be from all the years of the rotten situation I was in, but I couldn't bring myself out of it. My poor kids...I still feel guilty to this day how I was back then. It actually took an "eye opening" experience for me to admit I suffered from severe depression and to go see a doc. She put me on meds, which I continue to take today. But the difference in me now from back then is like night and day. A few years ago I met the man of my dreams and married him. My son has a lot of issues from my first marriage and then my years of depression didn't help. I feel a lot of guilt, still, for not being there for my kids after the divorce. It was like I was in a box and didn't want to come out, and if I came out it was kicking and screaming.
Most of my anger has subsided, but I do get to the point of saying "who am I?" sometimes. I make sure that I have some "me" time and I don't let myself feel too guilty about it. One thing I have started doing for myself this year is working out. The kids know when the door to the garage is closed, that is "mommy's time" and they better leave me alone:D
You have to take time out for yourself. Don't feel bad about leaving the kids with a sitter for a day. And I have to hand it to you.....I tried the "stay at home mom" thing for a bit and I hated it! I have to have time away doing my things, just like my kids have to go to school and have their friends. You are more than a mom, maid, taxi driver, wife, and cook! Good luck to you, and I'm here if you need to vent. :)
[QUOTE=w2bh09;3804588]I am a mother of 2 under 4 in her early 30s. I am a very angry person. I yell at my kids all the time. I have tried so hard to stop. The more I try and stop the more it all just erupts by the end of the day. I have always been an impatient person. But ever since my second came along I am extremely irritable all the time. Everything annoys me. Especially sounds. I find myself overwhelmed and stressed over every little thing. I can't find any motivation. I am tired all the time. I have almost daily headaches. I love my children...I love my husband. I should be a very happy person. Why am I so angry and sad? I don't think I am depressed. I don't want to hurt myself. I do have low moments. But isn't to an extreme. I want to be a better mother so badly. Every night I go to bed and say tomorrow I will not yell and be happy. Never happens. I feel so awful about myself. What is wrong with me? Where can I go for help?[/QUOTE]
hi i sympathise with you, as i know exactly how you are feeling, i wake up feeling like that most days and my partner gets so annoyed with me saying i have nothing to worry about and im selfish to keep acting the way i do. if i had a choice in the way i feel and act i would put a stop to it. it does scare me but i do have very 'high' moments as well, do you? i have tried all sorts of medication and under going diagnosis, and its either made me worse or had no effect, but i have just been prescribed 'Buspirone Hydrochloride' from my GP and the effects have been very noticeable from the day after my first lot, in a positive way, i am not 100% but i feel alot calmer for longer periods of time and happier more days than before taking them. i am sleeping alot better too.
i am not a GP, but i highly recommend you go see your doctor and talk to him/her about suitable medication for you.
all the best and look after number one always!





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