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Well, that explains it!
Alot of people who are faced with a diagnosis like bipolar disorder or another mental illness don't react in such a direct you as you are - but from what you mentioned, you are a SURVIVOR already and that inner strength (or peace or faith) will get you through this, too.

Most people with bipolar disorder are basically born with it and it just depends on lots of things when it kicks in. Some women for example don't start having problems until they are facing menopause. My problems started at age 13 around the time my periods began. (But I wasn't correctly diagnosed until I was 30! Talk about lots of experience with depressions & manias!!) Later teen, early 20's or a stressful even can also trigger onset.

If you manage to drag a diagnosis out of someone before your 18th birthday and it IS Bipolar II, you described a hypomanic episode in your post. Energy, rapid thoughts, exhileration, but at a scale that is less than a full-blown mania!

Guess I still hate to see you have to guess though until someone can tell you. Does your Mom just flat out refuse to talk aabout it or just kind of sidestep it? It's hard for parents to deal with something being wrong with their "kid" - they always want to blame themselves.
You have lots of valid reasons to be having plain old emotional problems instead, and your Mom aleady has alot of bad things in HER life to feel awful about. It must be hard for her if she feels she might be to blame for what is usually a genetic disease.

You seem exceedingly mature for your age to me... I have all sorts of confidence that you will land on your feet and something good (even if it's just helping other people here on HealthBoards) will come out of your life.
Your Mom needs to make that adjustment from thinking of you as her child & you being an adult. I've watched my friends try to make that leap - some never manage..

In the meantime:
Keep In Touch - or else I worry!
Keep your Chin Up - you are intelligent, curious, and a fighter.. a GREAT combination for survival!
Think of me as a foster mom (or cool grandma) or a friend - but trust me I have been there and done that with mental illness. You sure aren't alone on these Boards!!
:angel:





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