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That's really good that you've shared with your parents this whole situation your experiencing.

First of all I feel so bad that you are being so tormented by this anxiety. I want you to know that I totally know the way you are feeling because I've been tormented myself by similar anxiety and re-occuring thoughts and I want you to remember this "that there is light at the end of the tunnel and tomorrow is another day, you won't always feel this way".

Please remember that and you will get beyond this, a lot of times what happens to us anxiety sufferers is that we think we will always be in this state of mind and its simply not true, tomorrow when you wake up, just take a look at how beautiful life is, look at the trees and nature, flowers, think of the great family you've been blessed with who love you and you them so much. And just thank God for being alive to experience it.

Please know that there are other people out there who have been through what you are going through now and that you are not alone and not crazy, I promise you.

Back to what I think is going on with you and tell me if this makes sense: I really believe you are making yourself think these thoughts out of your fear and anxiety from them.

Did what I say below make sense to you, about how a person who suffers constant re-occuring thoughts of death, aging, dying, or having some sickness is any way exactly the same thing you are going through.

Like a person who is a hypochondriac is constantly thinking about being sick with some disease or they are dying from some form of cancer and they just can't get that thoiught out of their minds. They feel a little bump on their body and all of sudden they believe it some rare form of cancer, or they feel tired and read that drowsiness is a symptom of this rare form of cancer and then they become even more sure they have it, and they can't stop thinking about death or how it will feel to die.

Of course they don't wish to die or have cancer (just like you don't wish to kill your parents), but they constantly keep having "thoughts" about death "pop into their minds". Same as your anxiety is causing you to keep thinking all the thoughts that you dread. And just like your thoughts are becoming more manifested for example you say that you are getting thoughts of your mind telling yourself to just go and kill your parents, well a person who has anxiety of death also start getting more intense thoughts of death and they feel like they are getting premonitions of death, and all sorts of thoughts.

Here is what I'm hoping will happen for you as it happens to many people who get anxieties or start thinking they are going crazy and that is eventually you will get sick of burdening yourself daily with all this nonsense and come to the realization that you are causing these thoughts to re-occur and that you just to need to move on with your life and stop thinking about this all day.

So before I go on, do you think what I'm saying makes sense. Do you see how you are suffering from an anxiety in a manner of speaking and that this anxiety is causing you to keep thinking and burdening yourself with these thoughts, same as a person who has anxiety about dying burdening and worrying themselves in the same way, just wishing the can be themselves again and stop thinking about dying all the time. Just like the person who keeps thinking about death doesn't really want to die or even think about it for that matter, yet in spite of that they keep having those thoughts of death "pop into their minds", just like you keep having your thoughts

Do you see the connection? Does that kinda make sense to you?
[QUOTE=Leo123;4616513]That's really good that you've shared with your parents this whole situation your experiencing.

First of all I feel so bad that you are being so tormented by this anxiety. I want you to know that I totally know the way you are feeling because I've been tormented myself by similar anxiety and re-occuring thoughts and I want you to remember this "that there is light at the end of the tunnel and tomorrow is another day, you won't always feel this way".

Please remember that and you will get beyond this, a lot of times what happens to us anxiety sufferers is that we think we will always be in this state of mind and its simply not true, tomorrow when you wake up, just take a look at how beautiful life is, look at the trees and nature, flowers, think of the great family you've been blessed with who love you and you them so much. And just thank God for being alive to experience it.

Please know that there are other people out there who have been through what you are going through now and that you are not alone and not crazy, I promise you.

Back to what I think is going on with you and tell me if this makes sense: I really believe you are making yourself think these thoughts out of your fear and anxiety from them.

Did what I say below make sense to you, about how a person who suffers constant re-occuring thoughts of death, aging, dying, or having some sickness is any way exactly the same thing you are going through.

Like a person who is a hypochondriac is constantly thinking about being sick with some disease or they are dying from some form of cancer and they just can't get that thoiught out of their minds. They feel a little bump on their body and all of sudden they believe it some rare form of cancer, or they feel tired and read that drowsiness is a symptom of this rare form of cancer and then they become even more sure they have it, and they can't stop thinking about death or how it will feel to die.

Of course they don't wish to die or have cancer (just like you don't wish to kill your parents), but they constantly keep having "thoughts" about death "pop into their minds". Same as your anxiety is causing you to keeping thinking all the thoughts that you dread. And just like your thoughts are becoming more manifested for example you say that you are getting thoughts of your mind telling yourself to just go and kill your parents, well a person who has anxiety of death also start getting more intense thoughts of death and they feel like they are getting premonitions of death, and all sorts of thoughts.

Here is what I'm hoping will happen for you as it happens to all of people who get anxieties of start thinking they are going crazy and that is eventually you will get sick of burdening yourself daily with all this nonsense and come to the realization that you are causing these thoughts to re-occur and that you just to need to move on with your life and stop thinking about this all day.

So before I go on, do you think what I'm saying makes sense. Do you see how you are suffering from an anxiety in a manner of speaking and that this anxiety is causing you to keep thinking and burdening yourself with these thoughts, same as a person who has anxiety about dying burdening and worrying themselves in the same way, just wishing the can be themselves again and stop thinking about dying all the time.

Do you see the connection?[/QUOTE]



Everything you said so far makes a lot of sense, because before this happened to me i deveopled anxiety when we moved to Las Vegas, i would think that i had every disease in the world and whenever i would get a bump on my body i would think it's cancer, and i would get a lot of panic attacks at night because i would think i was going to die in my sleep, it was a scary thing that i went through but i got over it and now this happens, which i prefer to keep thinking i had every disease under the sun instead of this dumb thought and image. Ughhh sucks when you're in it. So maybe what you say is right. By the way are you a psychologist? seems like you are, i do feel better that i am no psychopath killer, it's funny because all my life i've been against killing, i've even been against death row because i feel only God can judge who lives or dies, this is what i use to think and i was never the type to ever think such things, and i would barely lose my temper, very soft spoken person, and polite, but now seems like that person is gone. ANd i still feel like i'm going crazy, although i know i will NEVER EVER EVER hurt my family they are worth too much for me to ruin that, and i would never ever take anyone's life away i see it if i like to live life so does everyone else.
Do you think it's a chemical imbalance?
Do you think i will ever be cured and be back to the way i used to be NORMAL?
Are you free from intrusive thoughts, or do they still bother you from time to time?
Mine is 24/7 i hate it.
Please let me know more
I want to cure myself 100%
Thank you for taking the time to help me.:(:confused:





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