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Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.
It is increasingly hard and I just seem to be worsening and falling down lower in my mood and lower in my self esteem. I don't want to be a moaner because things could surely be worse? I just don't have energy for anything, getting up for work, eating, sleeping even. J cannot understand why my mind is doing this? I am so angry in my own head at myself because I know it's entirely stupid. I need to sort it out or I will loose my girl and everything.
On top of this life is very stressful right now. My brother tries to kill himself last year, my parents had a messy split up and my mum died wry young and suddenly in June. I guess I feel that something is against me, and no matter how hard I try or how long I try, it all just pile up. I can't relax. I can't loose myself in a frenzy of passion or love, I can't get all this tension of my shoulders. It's hard, its so hard.
Sorry, I doubt you want to read this, but it actually starts to feel lighter jut writing it down, though makes me seen crazy! Which j am, going more and more!

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