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Mental Health Message Board

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Just wondering if anyone out there analyzes themself to the point of insanity. Lately I've been worrying I have some type of Bipolar disorder. Now I've convinced myself I have some type of personality disorder, possibly Borderline Personality. I sit and read and read and read, seeing how symptoms relate to me. I guess I see how my behavior is troublesome and not healthy so I am looking for an answer as to why it's happening. I'm so concerned about myself right now. I seem to exhibit some of the borderline tendencies, though not all. I have mood swings a lot, my relationship is on the rocks. I go from being in love to completely doubting what I want and feel. I often think in black and white/all or nothing terms. I am very insecure in myself, often reading too far into things my boyfriend says and twisting it around in my head thinking it's something negative he's saying to me. I told him I wanted to take a break a week ago. He has been trying to give me space, but yet I feel neglected and sad that he has been so cold. Well, I asked for space! Lately, as well as in the past many years ago when I struggled with an eating disorder, I sometimes get urges to cut myself. It mainly comes when I am crying, very hopeless, and/or angry. I have never done it because I know it will not do anything for me. But the thoughts still come in my mind and that worries me. I have also had many anger outbursts in my life. I have thrown things, punched walls, hit myself in the head, and often say silly, irrational things that I don't mean. If I get in a fight with my boyfriend, I start acting like a child. I'll say I'm leaving and walking home to my house. I'll start walking to the door all the while knowing I'm not really leaving and just wanting him to come chase after me and beg me to stay. Now this behavior is very immature and irrational. I am a smart girl and KNOW these behaviors are not healthy, but yet I still find myself doing them. This is why i'm concerned. Do you think I'm over-analyzing or do I have reason to think I may have a personality disorder?

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