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I am currently going through a really tough time, my emotions seem to be all over the place and I dont feel like myself anymore. I've been like this for about 5/6 months now and I dont understand why.
I've changed in myself so much, I've never been an overly outgoing person, but when with my close friends i was loud, fun, always up for a laugh and if there was a chance to go out (party and social drinking) I would. However for the past 6 months I dont want to do anything, im nothing like how I used to be, I always find myself upset or angry. My personality has changed a great amount, I cry at anything and everything, from my mum saying no to having a take a way to seeing a child hug there mother. Ive always been a caring person and the thought of harming annother makes me feel sick, but its got to the point where I honestly cry because a small fly landed in my bath and died, and when my boyfriend killed a wasp I got so angry and upset I cried.
Also I never go out anymore, I haven't seen my friends in near 6/7 months, I just dont feel up to going out, I'm nothing like before, I haven't touched alcohol in around 6 months as the thought of it makes me feel sick.
I find that almost anything annoys and angers me, for example I will be fine one second then next thing I know im snapping at someone( normally my boyfriend) just for being sat so close. Its not like im alone, I do have a few friends and im in a happy relationship of almost 2 years. I just feel like I have no one, I feel so sad, angry and stressed about everything.
Another thing what seems to be bothering me more then before is my appearance, I've never been happy with my appearance, but I learnt to accept it, now however, I look at myself in the mirror and hate what I see, I can cry for hours on end and I feel so unattractive.
Everything just seems to be building up on me, i can spend a good 4 hours in bed hating myself and just wanting to disappear off the earth. I hate being this way im just always tired, stressed, upset and angry most of the time :(
The worst thing is I know this isn't me, I dont want to be this way and I've tried so hard to ignore it and change but I cant. I am never often rude to anyone, I'm always trying to do the best for everyone, but i feel that no one likes me, even my family. I try my best to hide my emotions as i dont want to upset or hurt others but its so hard :( the strangest thing is ever so often I will have great day where im happy and go a day without being upset or angered by anyone.
Its so hard to describe how im feeling in words, and I still dont feel like I've expressed enough how hard this is for me,
I'm sorry for the rant, im just in desperate need for help and advice.





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