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Feeling distant
Jan 12, 2014
For a while now, a few months maybe, I've been feeling distant from society, reality, family and friends, ever since my last relationship ended and I finished my GCSE's. It just feels like I'm wondering thorough the days, going through the required motions, talking and chatting to people, doing my work, but I'm not mentally [I]there[/I]. It's like I'm watching myself from a distance.
When I'm with my friends at college, I just can't be bothered to make the effort sometimes and I tune them out, it's like I've suddenly forgotten how to interact. And because of this, I sometimes feel like an outsider, lonely.
When I first started secondary school, I was bullied for a few months. This has literally destroyed my confidence, and I still haven't got my confidence back yet. I always have negative thoughts about myself, my appearance, that I'm not good enough to do anything. My confidence is so low, that I can't do much without help or a lot of encouragement. Such as trying new things, going to new places, meeting new people, going shopping, doing new activities etc. I constantly worry how people perceive me and what they think of me, and I always worry that my friends are going to stop talking to me and find someone better.
At college, they give us a lot of assignments and homework to do. But I just sit there and not know what to put, I just stare at the paper. I always write something, because otherwise I would get in trouble. My problem is I always write all of the information in a few lines and then I'm stuck, and I give up easily. I used to be a determined person, always giving everything my 100% but recently I just don't want to try any more. For example, I started going to guitar lessons- I gave up after 3 weeks. With my homework, I don't try very hard with it. I don't listen in class often and get distracted easily. I'm doing swimming lessons at the moment, but I'm tempted to give that up too.
I don't [I]feel[/I] anything any more. The only emotions I ever feel are usually negative, but those feelings don't last long and I feel numb again.
I personally think I'm just going through a phase, because my Dad said the 'right person' hasn't come along yet to make me feel happy. But is there a deeper reason why I'm feeling this? Will it last?
Re: Feeling distant
Jan 13, 2014
Hi, from your description the psychiatric term for what you are going through is called dissociation in which you have that distant feeling from reality. It is actually a coping mechanism that helps you deal with the anxieties of your life. I believe you have a mild form of the condition and when your life situation becomes better these feelings will diminish. So, I think your father is right when he says meeting the right man will help you be happy again. Also if you can meet some good friends and begin having good experiences again then you will feel more attached. Also, do not let bullies ruin your life, you are a beautiful person inside and out no matter what they say...
Re: Feeling distant
Jan 13, 2014
Hello, thank you so much for your reply! I was wondering if I would ever receive an answer so thank you. Dissociation? Is it common? And I have a mild form of it? What's a severe form of it?
I guess my Dad is right, looks like we'll have to wait and see; it's just that it feels it's been going on for a while now, and it's hard to imagine.
Finding new friends is easier said than done I think. Since being bullied, I've become reserved and shy- and it doesn't help that I have a mild speech impediment, as I stammer/stutter and have been going to Speech Therapy since I was 5.
And thank you so much for saying that, it was a beautiful thing to say. Thank you :)
Re: Feeling distant
Feb 18, 2014
Hi there. I think what you are experiencing may well be a perfectly normal reaction to some big changes in your life. What's important to remember is that you are still the incredibly beautiful and special person you always were.... just a bit older and thus improved, even though it doesn't feel like it. And it takes time to adjust to changes. During that time it's normal that some coping mechanisms may appear. There's nothing wrong with that. I am saddened by the judgementalism that you display towards yourself though. I don't believe for a moment that you deserve it. Be kind to yourself girl. Learn to love yourself again by spending time figuring out what it is that you need and giving it to yourself. Self confidence is a by product of loving yourself. Sending you all the love and hugs in the world.....





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