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I don't think this is a disorder, but I do wonder what this is. There are two people inside of me, not like in multiple personality disorder, but like they are working together.

One side, which I often refer to as the light side, is very sweet, loves to help people, sees the beauty in everything, loves kittens, listens to happy music,... I guess you get the idea. That side is also easily hurt and worries too fast about everything. The light side follows the heart rather than the mind.

The other side, the darker side, loves dark surrealism (especially in movies or other art forms), is more rational, a bit perverted at times, has no interest in strangers, is more self-confident, is stronger, loves to figure things out,... It causes me to find an interest in disturbing things too (like the movie Martyrs, The Human Centipede,..., mutilation,... while that sickens the light side). This side is a little more aggressive and is more easily angry and irritated.

They often get into a dialogue in my mind. They are often arguing for long periods of time. They often contradict each other, but they help me make decisions. They seem to work together more now, ever since I fell into a depression a year ago. Before that, they usually took turns.

I control both, I am both. But they are not alter egos or multiple personalities. I remember what each side does. I know everyone goes into dialogue with oneself now and then. But these two are always there and they are so different. Yet neither side can fully describe me, I am both. Is there a name for this phenomenon? And can it be considered normal?





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