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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


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My husband and I had our different ways of dealing with it too. For days I felt like he wasn;t really acknowledging how seriously hurt I was. That made me even more emotional, and maybe even a bit whiny, because I really needed his attention and affection. The more needy I got, the more he pulled away. It was awful and I've never felt so alone. Then one night I just got tough and told him we needed to talk about it. He told me he didn't want to say what was on his mind because I would just get mad. Well we actually yelled and fought, I made him say waht he had to say and ultimately we agreed to disagree. He didn;t feel the same as me, and I didn't feel the same as him, but I made him acknowledge how badly I was hurting and it made me feel not so alone.

you know what? The next day after our fight he called me a few hours before he left work. He asked me if I wanted to go to dinner and a movie, and basically treated me like a princess for a week, opening doors, holding my hand, etc. (and he is NOT the type who believes in spoiling women). Little by little it tapered off and we are back to our normal routine.

My point is, maybe this doesn;t feel real to your husband, and maybe it never will, but he MUST recognize that it is real to you, and maybe the most physical and emotional pain you have ever felt. I m/ced on our moving day, and I honestly think dh resented the fact that I couldn't help unpack boxes as I was doubled over with cramps. It was the most awful day of my life. We are better and ttc already again. I know it may seem unimaginable now, but time will help. I know I started to heal emotionally the day dh and I had it out.

I'm so sorry for your pain. This is awful and something that I think can only be understood by someone who has had it happen to her. Please stay in touch and come to the boards whenever you want sympathy and support.





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