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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


Gosh I feel so very sorry for your situation, reading of your story took me back to the loss of my first precious son, who was also a much wanted and loved baby Joshua. My circumstance was different in so much as what caused his death, he had urethral valve syndrome, which is very rare, and cause such damage to the kidneys that a baby severley affected as was our son is incompatible with life. A term I will never ever forget. I really do know how you feel and the intense pain and agony that every day seems to bring. Letting go and coming to terms with your babies lossis a long process that takes time. A really horrid thing to hear when you are in the midst of grief swinging bwteen the rage of 'why me' and the pure sadness of 'why my so wanted baby'/ Every where I looked people had bumps and buggies and babies, life was very hard for a period. I personally coped by keeping it very concealed except for a very few select few, my husband in the main. To others it was as if my heart had healed when in fact my very being ached with pain and sadness. I probably liked you searched for the reason 'why' and then eventually accepted that there is no reason really, its all down to bad luck and unfortunate chance. On a more optimistic note I know have a beautiful daughter and two large brown eyed boys, the youngest just one years old. You never ever forget, my first born shall always be Joshua but you learn to live again and find a sense of peace and acceptance. The experinece has taught me how to value my children more and wonder at the sheer miracle that they stand before me safe and well. You will get through this very sad time. Thinking of you ((((((hugs)))))) xxxx

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