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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

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Jo, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that at this point regardless of what anyone says nothing is going to make you feel better. Experiencing the loss of a child is one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through. I worked in Labor and Delivery for many years and i have seen the same thing you went through happen so many times that i dont care to think about or count. I know that it is a rare occurrance but it happens more than you can imagine.

I also wanted to comment on the statement you had made about your tragedy being so rare and it happening to you. When it comes to ANYTHING bad you always hear people say "IT WONT HAPPEN TO ME", I always tell them "well it can and does happen to unsus pecting people". I know first hand. My last pregnancy i had the feeling for quite sometime that "something" wasnt right, the whole time i was constantly being reassured by my doctor that "everything was fine". I gave birth to my son and immediately after birth he just wasnt acting right and it didnt take long for things to go down hill very rapidly. My son survived, however, he has severe brain damage. My little angel is 8 years old now but he is on a 6 to 8 month old age level.

I know that what i have told you most definately isnt going to make you feel any better. But i wanted to share with you the fact that bad things do happen to good, normal people like us. I never ever dreamed i would have a child whose health was so compromised. This is something i live every single day of my life, not to mention that i never know from one day to the next if my child will even be here, for with his brain damage he is so suseptable to illnesses and he gets sick very fast. He has been on life support and near death several times, as well as children with such severe brain damage as his doesnt have a very long life expectancy. We love him soooo very much and we cherish every moment that we have with him.

Again, i am so very sorry for your loss. If it is any consolation to you, i truely believe everything happens for a reason. I truely belive God has a plan for each and every one of us, so the loss of your precious baby is part of Gods plan for you. It may not seem fair or right or even unclear as to how this could have been part of God's plan, but someday you will get your answers. Just remember this " GOD DOESNT GIVE US ANYMORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE".

With deepest sympathy, ValleyGurl
I don't know if you are still reading messages, but your message struck me. My baby also died at 19 weeks (and 3 days) - the cord was wrapped around his neck 2 times. I believe he died a week earlier (so he was alive 18 weeks). We had a little boy, and named him. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions - sometimes I feel normal, other times angry or depressed. This all happened last month on March 23. I would love to know how you are doing with all of this - it would be comforting to hear from someone else who had also dealt with something so very similar.
oh my goodness, hi ANGELMOM i lost youngest baby 7 years ago, i call my 10 year old my earth angel too, he loves it, i truly believe in my heart that he saved my life and pulled me through my loss. i know you dont "get over it" i think we just learn to live life differently. i knew from that moment on a little piece of me would be sad forever, but we have our earth angels to help us "cope" with the hard times. i am sorry if i disturbed you at all its just that, well it rang a bell with me, thought i would say hi. oh and while i am having a bad moment, thanks for making me smile. all the best to you. also can anyone tell me, my oldest son, i am so paranoid about him, i have nightmares that something has happened to him, i am so terrified that he too will be taken away from me, can anyone tell me am i going mad !! i would like to advise people too, please try again, i did not, ok i have one baby, but please try again.

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