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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board


Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index


It's a personal decision for everyone. Only you will know what's best for you.

I chose to have a DNC, for my own reasons. I also had a missed miscarriage. The doctor told me that it could be 2 to 4 weeks before my body realized it and started to miscarry. I couldn't handle that. The moment I knew I no longer had a viable fetus, I wanted to end my emotional suffereing and give my body the quickest chance to heal so that we could try again ASAP. I had a DNC the next day. The moment they woke me after the surgery, I bawled like a baby. I had very little pain, felt like I had all the closure I needed. They gave me painkillers that I used only on the first day. I bled off and on for ten days, was back at work and in school two days after the DNC. Two days after the DNC all pregnancy symptons were gone. 28 days after the DNC I got my period.

There are risks associated with a DNC as well, and it costs money. I never want to do it again. But between waiting it out and having a DNC, I thought a DNC looked like the less tramautic option. I wouldn't want to spend four weeks mourning my dead baby and wondering when it would come out.

I've heard horrible stories about natural miscarriages, but my sister-in-law went through one without too much trouble. they opted for it b/c they had no insurance. it took her two weeks to miscarry and she bled for two weeks after but only the first 24 hours were so bad.

Sorry you've had to go through this. I know my husband was my comfort and my strength. He cried as much as I did and missed school and work so he coudl be there with me.
I've had four miscarriages. Three I delivered at home (they were first trimester losses). The third one was I was 17 weeks. They wanted to do a D&E (16 weeks seems quite far along to do a D&C; a D&E requires different medical equipment and is a slightly different procedure). I refused since I wanted to see and hold my baby.

I waited two weeks to go into labor on my own and then requested an induction. I was induced and three hours later delivered my tiny son. I was so grateful to be able to hold and see my baby. We brought him home with us and buried him in the flower bed beneath our bedroom window. It just seemed more respectful than having our baby taken from my womb and having the doctor take care of him.

I had a lot of people tell me to just have the D&E to get it over with (it was agonizing waiting to go into labor) but I knew it wasn't what I had wanted. My baby's soul may have been gone but I spent four months growing that precious little body and I wanted to count his little toes and fingers, see his face and cradle him in my hands.

To me it was worth the wait. He had deteriorated quite a bit but he was my baby. It was even obvious that he looked like my husband :) .

The decision is you and your wife's; make the one you will not regret. I know many who regret not seeing their baby but few who regret holding and seeing them. The OB should be willing to do an induction. So you have more options than the D&E or "wait".

Love and Prayers, Kelly

P.S. It is so difficult. My heart aches for your wife. I'll be praying for you both.
I've had 2 miscarriages. The first one I let happen naturally after I found out we'd lost the fetus at 9 weeks. The 2nd at 10 weeks, I had a D&C. I would definitely recommend the D&C. For some people, including me, the natural way was VERY physically painful and took about 48 hours to be completed. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. I had dealt with the emotional pain okay but it all came rushing back when I was faced with the physical pain again.
The D&C took 10-15 minutes and I was under anesthetic the entire time and it was so much easier to cope with both mentally and physically.





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