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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Miscarriage & Still Birth Board Index

The list will be more about what not to say than what to say.

Do not say 'I know how you feel', even if you do. Her pain is important and personal.

Do not say 'You can always have another', since babies are not replaceable.

Do not say 'At least you know you can get pregnant' since that hardly takes away the heaviness of being unable to carry it to term.

Do say "I'm sorry" in the same way you would after you hear someone close to them has died, since this is exactly what has happened.

Do ask if there's anything you can do to make her life easier -- she might be feeling very sick; can you cook meals for her? Help her clean house? Be there while she cries?

Do say sorry to her partner as well, since he/she is experiencing a grievous loss as well.

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